Something that I think is a major problem for caregivers: when to ‘force’ someone into treatment. But here I was looking for our side of the story.
So there’s this criterion of being a danger to oneself or to others, but what if someone remains below that threshold, but is unnecessarily miserable nevertheless? And here forcing may come in different degrees, I mean, an ultimatum of some sorts, for example, may be considered as such as well. Love and understanding are good things for someone in suffering, but especially with a condition that involves anasognosia, are sometimes other measures desirable? Could even be something as minimal and innocent as telling someone something they do not like to hear.
My only experience with something like this was not so much when dealing with psychosis but rather with the following depression. Some pretty unnegotiable pushing by friends and family (which was certainly not what I liked at the time) eventually worked out for the better.
The question may be something like this: kind words are always nice, but are they always all that is needed? And do we ourselves always know best what we need?
1 Like
I think we don’t really know what we need, it’s very hard to know what one needs, others usually have a more impartial view that can help. We can know what we want, but that’s a different thing.
About my anosognosia, my mom was extremelly supportive, said I was obsessing with the diagnosis and the thing that mattered was that the treatment was working. My sister was more blunt “If the doctor said so, I beleive him”, but I’m a bit skeptical about doctors opinions too so…
As a friend of borderline and depressed, two separate cases, all I can do is be there when needed. In the case of the borderline I can’t make myself available all the time or I’ll go nuts, too much attention seeking and approval needing without the wanting to seek treatment thing. In the case of the depressed with psychotic features, I help with treatment knowledge and information, she takes good care of herself.
In my own case, nothing others told me ever made a difference. Only guilt arose from there, I was pretty out of it and did and said a lot of stupid stuff. They had a lot of patience with me.
2 Likes
Intervention was my family’s answer to my isolation when I first got ill. I was forced into he system and once in there experienced a lot of shameful neglect and negligence on the part of the caregivers. Slowly, gradually coming around to seeing their point of view. It took YEARS. I accepted it all after a while. It just gets to be too much. I think I’ve given up again. I came to appreciate my deceased mother’s part in me getting the right treatment and my stepfather;s loving part. I think the original intentions are good, but so much gets lost in the shuffle. People don’t really want to be responsible for another human being to the extent that SZ requires of them. You become a hot potato. The family gets tired of listening to your complaints. The doctors are overworked. Put him away and forget about him. Let HIM deal with it himself.
I think a person can be pushy and kind at the same time. It’s not that hard to insist that someone get help and explain that it’s because you really care about them. It’s not that hard to empathize while staying firmly supportive, i.e. “I know that medication scares you, it would scare me a little, too, but it’s important that you try it, and you can talk to me about how it’s going until you start to feel more comfortable, that way we’ll know right away if it doesn’t go well.” It’s easier to have a compassionate talk than to wait until things are dramatic and dangerous to try to pull off a “tough talk”. Personally if someone hasn’t asked me how I’ve been doing in months, and then they try to tell me how I feel and what I need, they can ■■■■ right off.