So just as the title says.
I don’t know when/how to reveal my mental illness to new people I met.
I can’t hide it long enough anyway as my work schedule is odd.
They’ll find out something is wrong.
Do we need to be brave to come out?
I don’t normally disclose much but see if this helps just something I copied and pasted from somewhere.
How to let people know that you’re mentally ill:
At some point you’ve been diagnosed as having some variation of a mental illness You know that it affects your life considerably, but those around you may not. They may not understand your actions when the disorder is actively present in your life. Thankfully, you can tell them about what you have, so that they may be more understanding.
Be selective. Only tell those who would truly benefit from knowing of your condition, such as your boss, fellow students and co-workers that you do a lot of work with, family members, etc. Other people simply don’t need to know. There are many misconceptions about mental illnesses, so you have to be careful with disclosing the diagnosis.
Make any explanations short and sweet. Don’t start using medical jargon in explaining what you have. This will only confuse the other person. Instead, break down any good descriptions you may find into plain English by replacing higher vocabulary terms with lower ones that will make sense to whomever you tell.
If you aren’t good at explaining things, don’t feel obliged to do so. Ask your counselor, psychiatrist or whoever helps you manage illness. for an easy-to-access and simple resource that you could refer your friends and family to. They will still get the message, but you won’t be the one explaining anything.
Don’t victimize yourself. Simply because you have a long-term emotional condition doesn’t mean you can’t have a successful life. Always remember that whatever affects you in life isn’t going to make or break you- it’s your reaction to it that counts.
Don’t make a big deal out of it. You might be mentally ill, but it doesn’t have to be the defining aspect of your life- if you don’t want it to be. People with this condition eat, sleep, and breath the same air like everyone else. You still have to manage it, but avoid ruminating over the diagnosis. It’s going to affect your life, but not necessarily in a negative way.
Don’t tell those who have a limited understanding of the world. Those types of people will be more likely to be judgmental, rather than empathetic, and may not be ones to count on to keep what you have shared confidential.
Some people might treat you differently after they learn about your condition. They might be victims of popular misconceptions, or they may not understand what the diagnosis means.
Usually, good friends and family won’t treat you any differently. But your acquaintances and those whom you don’t know well are the ones most likely to do so.
Try not to take it personal if they do treat you differently. Most of the time, they simply don’t understand what mental illness is and the struggles of those who have it.
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Right…,
If he’ll be going to be an acqiaintance forever, then I would choose not to reveal it.
But what if he might be a future friend, or more?
I am always upfront about these types of things when I come across trust worthy people who will not use it against me. it is imporant to find allys to support our cause and more than likely once revealing these types of deep aspects of our lives, the other will reveal something about themselves that you can relate to. It is relationship building.
When it came to my job, I confronted my bosses first and told them I needed certain accommodations. completely legal as far as I am aware. they have supported me more than you would have expected. the stigma behind our illness is slowly dissipating. It’s hopefuly
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I used to just blab it out there… first time we shake hands… But it was pointed out to me that I was using this as a way to scare people off from me.
As I’ve settled down and become a bit more realistic when dealing with others… I don’t blab it out there like I used to. But I do disclose it to people who seem like they are going to stay in my life a bit.
I did tell the student’s with disabilities office when I enrolled in college. My boss knows… but I didn’t tell him until after I was confident he was cool with things.
I was hired out of the vocational training program. There were three of us in that program that got hired by the city. So even though HR hasn’t disclosed my illness… it is on file.
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I think that certain people really have to know or should know about your MI - for example if you are dating someone, that person should eventually know, but I personally waited a couple of months before I told my ex fiancee about my MI - wait till things get serious. Telling someone off the bat is not necessary and will most likely scare off the person (most people are misinformed about SZ)
Be very careful telling co workers about your MI - I made the mistake of telling one person that I thought was trustworthy about my bipolar disorder - soon most people at my work treated me differently and most likely knew.
You do not have to tell your job anything about your MI - I wrote it down on my medical records card at work and I think I told the human Resources dept that I suffered from MI because I needed accommodations at work.
Telling coworkers about your MI is risky business - this is from personal experience
Thanks guys for all the comments…
I told this guy about my mental illness. On a natural flow of conversation, he asked questions, and I disclosed my sz by answering them. It came out so naturally and with ease. I was having no fears about rejection. And he understand…
I thought that, sometimes we can be the ones who attach stigma to ourselves, and fear rejection…
But of course, some people understand and some don’t… That’s sad, but I really hope the world is going to be a place where everyone can live without fear of being rejected due to thier disabilities.
I used to detach myself from “normal” people because I felt inferior to them, but I thought that there’s nothing I shoud feel that way for. I’m glad that he even showed some sympathy.
As I go into the world more, I think the more often I will encounter this kind of experience. I expect some rejection, but I guess I need to be careful about who to tell it.
I tell people if it comes up in conversation, but otherwise I let it go. If I’m having a bad day, and someone asks what is wrong, I might explain it to them (if I’m capable at the time), but I don’t really offer it up of my own initiative. I figure unless it becomes relevant, I’d rather just be known for who I am, not for this disease that doesn’t define me.
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I would not tell a boss until I have worked there a year or more.
Then they have time to get to know you as a ‘normal’
Then if you do have a relapse, they will have a firm good impression of you doing a good job.
If you tell them right off, you may not even get the job!
I was having a great interview and had tons of experience and the interview was going great.
at the end, they had a form to disclose disabilities or something like that. Bull#$^%.
It was just an excuse to discriminate against you.
Of course this does not apply if you are ill enough to only work part time or in a shelter community, etc.
I don’t usually have to say anything, if you are around me for any length of time it is pretty obvious I’m a little “left of center” …but not in a bad way.
I’m pretty responsible for myself-pay my bills, usually on time, keep my word…that kind of stuff, so no one has to be afraid of me.
@bananatto , I am a Mother of a 29 year old. Here is what I have learnt in the last 4 years that my son has been ill. When he first got sick he refused to come home and he lived by himself. Everyone who lived near him knew he was mentally ill . He talked to himself, poor hygiene and even with all that someone gave him a job to deliver food on his bike for few months. I know there are people who want to help, even people would give him food, someone took him for a hair cut, they would help him any way they could. The stigma is still there. But there are more good people in this world than bad people. In our case only our close friends and close family members know. People don’t understand mental illness.The support you get is mostly from people who have been in our shoes. We attend several support groups in our area. As far as jobs they can’t discriminate against this illness, the laws support the MI. But there is a lot of work to be done and some day I hope people will understand this cruel illness. When you work you know who you can trust and no one need to know unless it’s your boss or someone who works with you closely. Even when I left my job when my son came home , I never told anyone the real reason. I just gave some excuse that I don’t want to work anymore because I used to drive 80 miles one way. So I said I am tired of driving and that was the end of it. Even as a Mom I knew it’s hard tell everyone why I was leaving. Good luck to all of you who are suffering.
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