I know that some people prefer not to say anything, but I’ve always wanted to be really open about my mental problems. Mostly because they are so severe and I don’t have a job. There’s always questions I dread in normal social interactions. ‘What do you do for work/schooling?’ ‘What did you do today’ ‘what’s wrong?’ ‘Are you okay’ ‘you look lost’ ‘how’s life been?’ I don’t like lying to people.
What about people you’ve known for some time? I’d like to tell my boyfriends family eventually since we’ve been together for 6 years and they know enough about me to know something’s definitely wrong.
Whenever I interact with people my diagnoses is always in the back of my head, especially when people point out my obvious symptoms. Or when I see their faces after they found out I graduated over 3 years ago and I haven’t had a job or gone to school. But something inside my stops me from telling them. I want to though! I appreciate honesty and the people who talk about mental health to help end stigma.
The people who know about my diagnoses are: my parents my roommate my boyfriend, three friends. I also plucked up the courage to tell my boyfriends brother. He took it well and I felt great for getting it off my chest but he did say I should maybe not tell people unless I really have too. But my illness is so disabilitating! To the point where store workers think i have developmental issues. Why should I lie when I’m obviously struggling so hard?
I mention it if it becomes relevant to the conversation.
For an example, if someone asks me what I do, I tell them I’m currently on sick leave, but that I’m starting school in January. If they ask me why I’m sick, I tell them about my diagnosis, because at that’s point, it’s become relevant.
I don’t think you should tell people just to tell people, but if you feel the timing is right, go for it.
I don’t make a habit(not that I see many people anyway) of telling about my diagnosis. That is because the information on it generally paints people with it in a bad light. People if they know anything about it know from the disparaging articles. Hence you are marked down as a total shithead even though you are far from being that.
I easily tell people a watered down version…that I had a tough time. Or that I had bad anxiety in response to the relationship with the father of my son. And that i am recovering. Or something like that. I tend to tell it in bits and pieces, share a bit more and more when I get to know someone. I hardly ever tell people I had psychosis and was in a ward. I dont feel like im lying…I had a tough time and my psychosis was in fact terrible anxiety. The term psychosis makes people look weird at me, I am afraid. Friends and family do know.
Sometimes strangers ask intimate questions and I answer without lying but also without giving too much detail. E.g. I had a first date ask me what the scar on my wrist was from. I answered that it was from when I had a really tough time and id rather not talk about it on a first date.
The last one I told about my diagnosis, was the boy I was dating with for 2 months. He didnt respond badly, but he did stop the dating shortly after…im still not sure how much of that was because of my diagnosis.
If I were you I wouldn’t mention your dx, but you could talk about your symptoms , atleast the ones you feel ok discussing. That way people understand what your going thru with out getting labeled
Personally I think that other people don’t care, don’t want to know, or wouldn’t care even if they did know about another’s medical history. People have their own busy lives and don’t have the time or inclination to think and ponder and judge other people. I think that thoughts about others judging us is mostly self stigma or maybe residual paranoia.
It’s inevitable that I will have to tell people that I have a mental illness in the future. But for now, I just think about the million times that I’ve read in various places that stigma for a person with schizophrenia is worse that the disease itself. Its a huge motivator to keep it quiet.
Every single person with schizophrenia has a horror story of how much they’ve suffered. I spent 8 months locked up in a psychiatric hospital when I was 21. If the stigma of having schizophrenia is worse than spending 8 months locked up with a hundred other patients and if it’s worse than the things I saw and experienced in those 8 months in there, well, that kind of motivates me to not volunteer the information of my diagnosis. Kudos to you. I guess you’re braver than me to be able to tell people your diagnosis but I’m going to keep mine quiet for the time being.
yeah. You be selective to a degree. That degree is above normal.
I’d suggest. You only tell if your getting a reward for it! ie you don’t let slip unless you’ve got something to gain. Some people take it well. Others do not. That is the crux of the matter. You reveal only if your gaining something out of the interaction. Work is cool and you need time off. Friends are different and understand mi because they may be anxiety themselves!
I stopped telling anyone, a friend knew about it and I also worked with him on projects at times, his son ended up ripping me off and when I caught him , they turned it against me.
I answered that it was from when I had a really tough time and id rather not talk about it on a first date.