I’m sza and meds help but only so much
i don’t know what i have, so i cannot help you, sprry.
I’d rather not have any mood issues or really any mood at all.
Without emotions there is no wise mind according to DBT. But maybe that’s the safety precautions you gotta take right now.
I just don’t use the classic reference of moods. They are a trap because you can’t expect to feel all of them at some point.
Seeing something as humorous, disgusting, saddening, frustrating, or just respecting creativity and genius. Thats about all I do.
The humorous stuff is the best
i’d say paranoid schizophrenia is worse bc it is like always in fear of something happening and you have the effective blunting (which i am not sure if it is a symptom of sz or a side effect of med)
but i’d rather have some emotions (even if they are somewhat uncontrollable) than none at all, and that is why i think that p/sz is worse, sorry.
Both are pretty bad. as bad as this sounds it might just be preference.
I was diagnosed PSZ due to the whole mind reading thing. Paranoia shows in insecurities and obsessive thinking. I have no fear though.
I threw out moods a long time ago as something I didn’t want to experience. Something to do with Vulcans…
We are entitled to be different. No need for apologies.
It isn’t really about what’s worse. It’s more about its all very difficult and needs to learn to be managed
my paranoia usually comes back pretty quick if i miss a dose or two, (not sure if it is withdrawals) but i’m not taking any chances,
its that feeling of pure dread that seems to creep up on me,
i realise that no matter what anybody says about how good i am doing or anything like that, i know that i am totally entitled to my benefits and things because i know that if i stopped taking my meds i would probably die. i would go mad and probably have a heart attack sounds pretty grimm i know but its just the way it is.
my pdoc said to me last week that i would probably be on them for life, he said it was long term,
wish i never had such a weak brain, even after trying to strengthen all my barriers in my mind i still have a massive mountain to climb,
i think i am on a crusade to prove that i can rid myself of this thing, would like everything to be totally natural though bc i hate having to rely on chemicals to ‘fix my brain’
Right there with you dude. Only thing that sucks is when you run out of the momentum of new things to try… You level out… My main problem is hallucinations and a different reality the entail. I can keep myself convinced its not real for the most part but its all still there all I have to do is slip and entertain it, then I catch a glimpse of how bad this illness really is.
For me it’s all about not thinking about it and try to do what I would be doing if I had never gotten ill. Still though its changed me. It’s shown me I should be completely disgusted with myself and its a hard feeling to shake.
It’s like a different kind of depression. I don’t feel sad. Disappointed maybe.
think its changed us all lol, but seriously that is what i do every day, idk if you have ever heard the phrase ‘pay it no heed’ which means ‘don’t give it any thought’ well thats what i try and do, i think i have mastered my own personal Occlumency techniques in that regard only with my p/sz as the invading thoughts lol (not Voldewart) haha
Yeah not giving any of it any thought. Just trying to live anew. That’s the only way to escape. I think it makes you a more normal person. It’s like that is what they are were doing the whole time where I was instead building up a psychotic break. Learned my lesson now.
i don’t know how much of it is me and how much is the meds at controlling these symptoms,
its so hard to put my finger on it, i know if i didn’t take my med i would get unwell
so how much control do i really have?
i think i have more insight than before esp with all the college i have been doing and learning about counselling and stuff, if i had another break (which i hope i don’t) i think i will cope a lot better than before
I don’t know man rationality is the best method for combating paranoia in my case. First it showed me the world is pretty safe and no one has it out for me. Secondly it shows me how unrealistic it is to entertain this hallucinated scenario I’m in. Sometimes it directly combats the hallucinations…
This week though I find myself running into something every day that just makes me want to sleep and escape for a while. My mornings are always pretty good. I just get tired of being myself and when that happens I quit trying to get better.
It sounds like you need your meds even if they just bring you peace of mind. My meds never solved my problems, but I still take them just to give myself a layer of security.
I can imagine the kind of feelings you described. For the to be irrational and always present must be terrible. My paranoia was always situational brought on by the hallucinations which fed the hallucinations… other then that I had no real need to be paranoid… Thinking back on all that is just ■■■■■■ though. My mind feels so much smaller then it used to. I think it was an illusion of ego that it was ever larger. At least I have more control now. Minimized everything to the point that none of it has an effect on me.
Do you have hallucinations? Or do you just feel fear?
my paranoia led on to other things like delusions and panic etc, it was driven by fear
luckily i didn’t hallucinate much except when i was really delusional and they were so intense that i actually thought my delusions were actually happening, it controlled me once, i had instructions and i followed them but luckily they were driven by fear so it was commands like, ‘go to the shops’ and ‘buy ovaltine’ ‘now buy the other one’ and it was gangster that were strategically placed and were shouting “thats how i got the commands” except in the shops idk how i thought the gangsters where trying to get me to buy ingredients for a posey, i ignored then a couple of times but the gangsters let me away with it bc it was veterans day and… it goes on, when i came out of it i could remember everything but it was like i was in a dream or something.
basically if it wasn’t for my med i would be in a really bad place, maybe you have got more self control than me of your brain idk, if it wasn’t for my med i couldn’t tell myself to stop bc it wouldn’t work, it would just happen and i couldn’t do much, i would try my best of course but i just hate to imagine a life without meds.
Its like polar opposites. You have fear leading to hallucination and I have hallucinations leading to fear.
It’s nice though I can sit alone and not hallucinate at this point. There is still a great amount of control I have yet to develop. I can imagine life without meds. I won’t go as far as to say that they did nothing for me. I hope they did something. But I haven’t had a normal day in over two years. Telepathy… everywhere.
If I would have felt the way I feel now when I was 18 to 23 this ■■■■ would have never happened… I was to focused on being an individual. Thinking for myself. That made me different, as shitty as it is people don’t like those kinds of people. They challenge them to question things that they would have otherwise not thought twice about. That only complicated things that led to an identity crisis. Which drove me further down a road that I should have known was better just to avoid.
Then this hallucinatory reality of telepathy started and gave me a totally different perspective on myself. It’s less ignorant but a lot more harsh, to unnatural degrees. This is just the side effect of the experience of my psychosis. I have to really try and pretend it never happened and relearn to see myself without this drastic judgement.
Really I should just keep it all to myself and hope it passes, but its also nice to vent a little bit.
So it goes…
The medicine is really helping you. You are doing very well. I know it is hard. I wouldn’t be alive without meds too.
I had a paranoid episode lately even with perfect med compliance.
I think paranoid schizophrenia is the most serious, disabling, debilitating mental illness you can have. BUT…people with paranoid schizophrenia (like me) tend to do better vocationally and are better at living independently than other types. And can appear more 'normal" than other types.
No one can really answer this because no one has had both. In my opinion, they get to be manic which is enjoyable for some.
I do not have a mood disorder, I am on serious drugs which confound the notion. Without caffeine or ■■■■■■■ weightlifting stimulants or xanax leaving my system and having the opposite effect as it does, or all three, I would not be so intense. Without the drugs, I am just a classic case of chronic paranoid schizophrenia with strong defense mechanisms. I mean strong as hell. Oh wait. Confounded by psychopathic tendencies, another variable which may be supporting by resilience!
Let’s all take our meds and not have a dick measuring contest. Being the craziest or having it the worst is not a good thing, Believe me, it is not fun being the pumpkin king.
Being for real is a curse.