I’m really interested in the dreams of other people with psychotic disorders or sz. For now I’ll just ask about nightmares though, because I feel as though I’ve always had really awful ones. Here’s a couple of mine, I’ll try to keep them short.
Had this one at age 5. Running from dogs without flesh with my mom and best friend at the time. We ran into a giant building, but my mom and friend made a wrong turn into a dead end. I ran back only to see them being eaten alive, as they screamed in agony for me to help them, which I could not do. (Most of my nightmares at early ages were like this. Watching loved ones get slaughtered, or being killed myself, all very vivid and gruesome. Usually I had a possibility to save them, but more than often I failed and thus it was all my fault when things went to hell)
Had at age 9 or 10. Fell into a dark pit, filled with some kind of fluid. Shadowy figures surrounded me and gang raped me. I couldn’t get away.
Had sometime in high school. (This one is very dark-possibly triggering) I was a lot younger in the dream. I had been kidnapped by a small group of people (a cult maybe?). They made me dress like a boy, and they even cut my hair and dyed it. I lived with an old man. The group regularly came over and sexually abused me. One day the old man stood me in front of a mirror and he grabbed my hands and started making me touch myself in the mirror. He made me watch the whole time but I didn’t want to. He talked to me throughout it too saying things like “look how beautiful you are” but it was incredibly creepy. When the whole group was there they also liked to put me in this tunnel kind of like the ones kids like to crawl through and play in, the toys, except it was made of wood and made to be incredibly dark inside. They put broken glass inside and then would throw me in and laugh because I was terrified of the dark and the glass really hurt so I’d scream and scream and all I heard was their laughing. One day I ran away and a nice lady with kids said she would help me, but the cult attacked her and all I felt was incredible guilt for getting her involved, and planned on going back to them to spare her and her kids, even though the decision made me feel both hopeless and depressed. (The nightmares I’ve had of this kind are numerous as well)
Had a nightmare the other night where I was a monster hunter. I worked with my boss. At the end of the dream I saw a cute little yorkie playing with a kitten. My boss told me they were monsters in disguise and I had to kill them. I didn’t want to, but he pressured me so much. I had to snap both of their necks. I felt and heard everything. I was so sad. I woke up incredibly disturbed. (Another nightmare where I’m forced to do something I don’t want to. Ugh.)
What are all of your nightmares like?? I surveyed my 5 year old sisters on their nightmares and that’s when I realized mine back then were probably really weird, because their nightmares were like “a big mouse was chasing me!” Or “a weasel got trapped in a box!” And I was like wtf. I ask my roommate about her nightmares and none of hers are nearly as graphic or upsetting as mine. I’m wondering if the nightmares are connected to my psychosis or if I’ve always been naturally a little messed up lol.
Seems every time I get desensitized to one nightmare my head just finds new ones to freak me out. My roommate joked that my subconscious was out to get me.
My nightmares are few, but out of the ones I’ve had, the worst part isn’t so much what is visible occurring in the dream. For example, I have a lucid dream (one in which you are aware that you are dreaming, but you also know it seems as real as real life so you are sort of weirded out) and I can’t get over how real it seems, then I have somewhat of a panic attack in which it feels like my chest is on fire with some freezing flame, but then I remember that I will wake up eventually, so I transform the panic attack like feeling into something positive, like euphoric adrenaline and go off and do fun things until I wake up. BTW lucid dreams are mind blowing, for me, and I imagine others as well.
There was this other dream in which there were dog-sized, green, hopping spiders. They didn’t do anything to me, but they were pretty scary, even though they behaved sort of like puppies.
Being lost by myself in some dark dreary big city, that I had never been to before. In my dream I was very insane. It started to get dark and I didn’t know anyone or know where I was. I just walked around scared by myself.
Or a similar dream. I’m insane and I’m alone in a mental hospital wandering down the empty, poorly lit corridors. I don’t know where I am and I didn’t know anybody.
These were actually both recurring nightmares I had when I first got sick. I would wake up sick and crazy and be depressed for half an hour.
I was in an article on Newsweek called “can’t turn off the night” under the alias of “Chuck”. I still have nightmares, not every night but I did last night for example.
The worst nightmare i have had was during psychosis, because it wasn’t a dream.
I was asleep but i was conscious at the same time. I woke up and because it was so real i couldn’t tell i was asleep, it was no different than being awake really. There were flashes of light like lightning and strong wind in my room and i began to float off of my bed towards the beings behind me who were moaning and groaning.
For some reason i was put back on the bed and there were cards floating in front of me. It was an ace. And the ace began to change and cycle through the aces, it ended on the ace of spades like a magic trick.
Woke up and the near death psychosis continued, drove down south because i couldn’t take it anymore and thats where i saw pan.
There was a different one where i was shot in my head. I fell down conscious still and saw the blood draining from my head but i could not move, i could only drift off into death while i watched my blood drain out.
And then there was this other one where i was driving by myself and i ended up at this place where i happened upon a group of what appeared to be grey aliens having a meeting. They were all wearing cloaks and just staring in front of them, they did not speak. I remember thinking “how the ■■■■ did i end up here?!” It was freaky. The leader of the meeting was at the podium just staring in front of him.
I honestly am slightly confused about the way this site works ,
so if you say something to me please don’t get angry if I don’t respond ,
I looked for a “hello im new here” thread but couldn’t fynd it ,
im kinda lazy ,
but I am also excited because I met some cool people in tha past ,
sadly the site got deleted and I haven’t been on a forum for what feels lyke 100 yearz ,
ok my worst nightmare was me tied to a chair and a doctor would slice me with a rayzor and repeat THIS sentence ,
“what did he say now???” - (slice slice)
“what did he say now???” - (slice slice)
the doctor was talking about God …
and sadly it became a real fear ov myne within reality …
n e hoo I hope I didn’t break any rulez and I hope to be able to cure some boredom and be able to giVe sum good (hopefully) good advice on schizophrenia ,
I was diagnosed in 2006ish , with schizophrenia
so ok hope to join you dudes and duddettes on this forum
Welcome sleepoptimistic. A lot of newcomers start their own “Hi, I’m new here”, thread. It’s easy. If you really desire to, I’ll walk you through the process.
Just casually give a little of your background or a little bit of your history. Maybe a little bit of your story, like when you got sick, your diagnosis etc. If you WANT, give a little of your living situation or a little bit of what you’ve gone through.There’s no hard and fast rules about an introduction. Try not to offend anyone or try not to post anything too graphic that could “trigger” someones symptoms. Just use common sense and common decency. I’m not an expert on introductions but I’ve seen plenty in the 6 years I’ve been on forums like these. Oh, yeah, don’t make it too long. If it’s too long it turns people off and they might not want to read it. Good luck.
My most terrifying dreams are about being chased. The worst are when I’m being chased my zombies in and apocalyptic world. In these dreams I’m constantly running away from death and trying to hide. It is non stop fear, anxiety and torture.
