Socially awkward, shy, solitary activities, hardly any friends, clumsy, poor manual dexterity, bad at gymnastics and other sports, stutterer(though had virtually gone by my teens), bed wetter( especially between 8-11), developed gender identity issues around the age of 9-10 , good academic performance followed by gradual decline from age of 9, socially anxious, negative test for what is now cerebral palsy at 6,
I was disturbed and eventually became a silly badass by age 16. By 18 I was 185 lbs and 5’7in and a ■■■■■■ up and trained in Krav Maga budding schizo. I had some glory days after I transferred to an international school my sophomore year. I made good grades and got scholarships to colleges. I was a psychotic mess by graduation though. I was naive and scared of girls yet violent, a martial artist. I changed a whole lot, I buzzed my long hair after my sophomore year and bulked the ■■■■ up big time. I ate six meals a day.
By 19 I was a violent psychotic drunk. On a full scholarship with a 3.5 in neuroscience. Huh lol
I always thought I was pretty cool for a guy who wore glasses. Now today with affordable contact lenses, Lasik surgery, and designer eye glasses, the “kid who wears glasses” in schools is not stigmatized so much as when I was growing up I would guess. But I was basically shy, awkward, not known for good looks. Playing sports did not come naturally to me but I joined Little League at the urging of a friend. And I went out for soccer in 11th grade. I was pretty good at baseball and football on our weekend games at the park or our games in the streets on our block. But yeah, I was not good with girls. I was afraid of them though there was a girl on our street who me and my friends fooled around with in 7th and 9th grade (I skipped 8th grade). I had a lot of fun growing up but there were some VERY miserable times when my friends either ganged up on me to make fun of me and put me down constantly or rejected me outright so I was alone.And after 6th grade I only had a couple close friends and a few acquaintances. But when me and my friends were getting along I had some great times going to the beach, hiking in the mountains, going to parties, playing the aforementioned football in the streets every night. Memory can be very selective. And one month I could be miserable but then a couple months later, things would be going fine. It was hard that girls liked both my good friends but they didn’t like me. It led to many bad times of feeling left out and feeling alienated. But we rode bikes, we went fishing, we worked out with weights, we went swimming in my friends pool.
I don’t want to put you on the spot firemonkey but can’t you remember at least SOME good memories from your childhood?
Not many as the happier times were before I started boarding school at 8 years and 5 days, and my recall before then isn’t good. What does stand out is looking for shellfish to eat at the beach at Pattaya/my dad bringing us tubs of foremost ice cream when he came home from work/ seeing Mary Poppins for my 8th birthday.
Yeah, my mom took me and my sisters to see Mary Poppins too. And Chitty, Chitty, Bang Bang. And Bambi.
I saw Chitty chitty bang bang, both it and Poppins had Dick Van Dyyke in it. Mary Poppins was a much better film.
BarbieBF edited Dyyke…
We’ve just had an example where the censoring can go wrong . Dick Tracy.
so dick is allowed but not ■■■■.
teenager…rebel…kicked out of 9 schools…the legend continues…!?!
I was a very social and outgoing kid. Always had plenty of friends. Incredibly paranoid though, thinking planes would abduct me, saw evil faces in my paintings, monsters were coming to kill me, etc. Mostly I hid my fear from others because my parents told me to get over it. I think I compensated for the constant feelings of helplessness and fear by becoming slightly sociopathic. I stole things, had a dark interest in killing things and would draw cages around things and put things in cages. It made me feel in control, looking back on it. (I grew out of that, thankfully) I was also always ahead of my class in intelligence, so I’d get frustrated a lot when I’d have to move at a slower pace because of others.
By around 11 I started sinking into depression, and lived in a constantly depressed state for the next 3 years. It was one of the worst time periods in my life. Nothing made me happy. I stopped talking to others and got a weird reputation. It was so difficult to just get through the day. It got to the point where I just felt nothing. I was empty. It changed me completely as a person.
Then high school I came out of the depression, gradually. I still had a weird kid reputation though, and had a very critical and judgemental friend group, between the two I got horribly insecure. Academic performance slipped and I just became average in school, even struggling at times, which was also upsetting for me. I had changed back to my social, outgoing self, but now no one cared to see that. Since I struggled at school stuff, I poured myself into extracurriculars. Junior year was when I first began suffering from anxiety, which still affects me to this day.
It’s been a long, long journey. I left out the stories about the progression of my psychosis because that’s too dang long, haha. I’ve always had it, anyways, since as long as I can remember. I was even an unhappy baby haha, I hated being put down.
I was goth as a teenager. Quiet, kept to myself, not many friends and those I did have I was not close with. Bad home life and abuse.
There was a big change in my personality when I hit 15. I started getting hit with these crushing anxiety attacks. Every day, the entire time I was at school I was so afraid I was sure something would break inside me. I compensated for this by drinking and being defiant towards authority. During my time at high school I became a progressively worse partier - drinking and smoking marijuana. Before this time I was a well adjusted, popular student. I was a wrestler. I won 95 per cent of my matches. I had some really good years wrestling. Girls liked me. My first year of high school all that changed.
early or late teens
I was a loner, a shy child, very affectionate. As a teen I was a nervous wreck, wracked with anxiety attacks, a recluse and descended into my own fantasy world. I was also academic and loved astronomy and art and poetry. Very sensitive and emotional under an aloof exterior. Not many friends, but loyal to those I had. Stayed away from social situations, never went out with friends because of agoraphobia and panic attacks. So I never had a chance to do naughty things like drugs or smoking. Very over protected by parents, goody two-shoes!
Moody, Lovestruck, Very lost, Very Depressed, Daydreamer,Loner but had a few close friends, well relatively speaking… Never really went into personal problems but hey I’m male! Horse mad! Sci-fi and fantasy Role playing games tended to be my social group. i.e… D&D, traveler, Dragon Warriors etc. A total nerd hopeless at any intellectual pursuits though although computer mad. Girl crazy! Spent a great deal trying to avoid my enemies. No idea what I did to get to get enemies. Probably just existing did it.
As a little kid, hyper manic all the time. Everyday was a great day. I was Mr. Sunny. I had unstoppable energy. I needed very little sleep. I could jump around for hours.
People were nice to me, but I never seemed to have a lot of friends. I had a few, but not like others. I was always scaring them away.
I was on swim team as long as I can think back… in the water I could hold my own, but I was a spaz on land.
I know I was weird. I always had my youngest brother and kid sister with me. Other kids my age didn’t tag their youngest siblings along. But I was keeping them safe.
When I was 14 everything changed. I got worse, the voices got louder, Clouds came and blocked out my sunny disposition. Everything just got hard and dangerous and dark.
I was so fearful of everything. I had panic attacks, the hallucinations were always there, but now they seemed worse and louder. My cousin who I looked up to, used to give me alcohol and other drugs.
That is when I lost myself and didn’t really have any idea what I was like.
lol yah we are still working on the word filter… Some words are probably automatically pre-loaded.
I had a nervous disorder which manifested itself as a trembling nervous voice when made read in class. It was humiliating. It started as a result of bullying.
Until I was 11, when I started the prodromal phase, I was a good kid. Very polite, very intelligent, but shy. When I was 12-18, I was hell on wheels. Most of it from the schizophrenia. I had a few glimmers of my old self, but not many. I need therapy because of therapy.
I was always shy. I stood out for my awkwardness, and was bullied a lot. It wasn’t until I was 16 that I started to open up and be more outgoing, which is odd because that was when the first overt symptoms showed up. I was delusional but I was happy.
When I was much younger I had a violent streak, too. I would bite and scratch, with little or no provocation. I was frustrated at the world. But that too went away as I got older, and now I’m mostly a pacifist, I try to be very gentle.