What to say and what not to say to someone with sz/sza?

I’ve been pondering this for a LONG time. Ever since my first hospitalization (the first time ever meeting someone with a similar diagnosis), I’ve always wondered such a question.
I know what not to say to me, but what do you all not like being told/asked?

I think it’s kind of tricky if they have no insight. You’re supposed to not argue with them about their delusions while at the same time not agreeing with them. At least that’s what a paper I was reading said (I think it was for therapists).

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I kinda just make the “hmph” noise after they give out their delusion(s). I mean, it’s like a agree and disagree at the same time…i don’t know what the hell to call it. But, that’s just what I reply to others delusions.

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If I go full on whackdoodle and I’m posting all kinds of spew about aliens, I’d appreciate it if people just called me on it and told me to get my arse to a doc for a med adjustment.

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What not to say:
“You just need to try harder”
“Stop pretending to be forgetful/dumb/easily confused”
“If you cared, you wouldn’t forget”

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@Berru I like that one.

Things not to say to me:
Too many questions asking for more details in the same subject
Too many questions that answer in yes or no
Too many times saying “I feel like that” or something along those lines
Too much repeating what I say
If I seem irritable then maybe switch tacts

What to say to me:
Any of the above things in moderate amounts :grin:

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Arguing with a delusional person doesn’t do much good. You just get involved in their delusions.

Treat them like people. You say as little as possible to not give them a handle. But you make an effort to listen. Keep it simple.

There’s no easy way when someone is floridly psychotic but the word is you don’t challenge them and keep it as low keyed as possible!

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I am a listening volunteer with the Samaritans and we are having more and more calls from people with SZ/SZA. I am reading these posts with interest. It is so helpful to hear from those who suffer. My son has SZ and one of the first things I found was how one size does not fit all.

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I’m not sure I have either but comments like “it’s all in your head” or “ meditation will fix it. Argh

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What not say:
‘Time is a great healer’ or ‘at least you’re not dying’ or ‘I am sure a few simple changes to your lifestyle would make you forget you even had sz’ (and other sweeping black and white statements) :unamused:
What to say:
‘Take it easy’ ‘Learn all you can about your illness’ ‘you will have good days and bad days’. Having a heart to listen and sympathize is the key, I think.

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What not to say to me:
“Religion will help you/fix your problems.”
“Don’t do that!” In regards to me forgetting something.
Just don’t yell at me n general, it’s overwhelming.

What you can say to me:
"It’ll be okay."
Or just reassuring me when I have my psychotic moments, and actually sympathizing is fine too.

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Everybody has something.

People just live up to their labels.

Haven’t you got over your Sz yet?

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don’t say “did you take your meds” when I’m mad. Do say “did you take your meds” when I’m hypo manic. It all depends on my mood. Basically don’t even talk to me when I’m mad. Say anything any other time except when I’m depressed then don’t try to motivate me because I feel guilty enough for not being able to get out of bed. Then when someone says “come on, you’ll feel better if you get up and get a shower and eat something” then I just feel more like crap because I literally can’t get up. Oh God, I just realized how hard it must be for my poor family. Now I feel bad.

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“Why didn’t you do this” and “why didn’t you do that”. (Well, I honestly forgot)
“Are you stupid or something?? Finish your sentence.”
(Sorry, what were we talking about again?)
“You’re constantly in your room.”
(Incorrect. I come down to eat, I go to work when I’m scheduled, I use the restroom, I go for bike rides, I take showers, I sit outside on the balcony, etc.)
“Why are you crying/laughing?”
(Probably psuedobulbar ((however the hell you’d spell it)) effect/affect)

Crap like this gets to me sometimes. Like some of you said, it all depends on my mood and/or state of mind.
Some days, I like to sleep all day. Some days, I’ll go to work for literally everyone. It all depends on my mood and/or state of mind.

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If you truly believed you could recover than you would?

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I hate mumbles and muffled language, I keep hallucinating messages on top of them. Makes me angry.

I get a little perturbed when folks say I feel like that sometimes or my distant aunt told me to pick myself up by the bootstraps.

I prefer they don’t say anything really just listen to me. My uncle will say “really?” to my concerns over and over which is nice so I can say what’s on my split mind and he doesn’t buy in or reject my issues.

You cannot make a delusional person see that they are delusional…you can only try to talk them into seeing a pdoc and getting on meds…

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Never tell a joke that begins with, “Two schizophrenics walk into a bar…”

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So true :rofl: I’m happy you now realize this :rofl:, Nick

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