This last year has been just so messed up. I can’t carry on a normal conversation. I read things but i can’t even understand. I’m so frustrated and scared. I avoid going out as much as possible. When I do it’s with family or others who have mental illnesses. I overdosed twice this year.
I have kids depending on me. I can’t keep effing mine and my kids and my family’s lives. I.just don’t want to be crazy anymore
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Same. Don’t wanna be crazy. Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most. But I am trying to accept the new me. Whatever it may be. And focusing on healing.
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My nephew was the neatest little kid. I haven’t seen him in a few year’s. Mabey it was just being around me but he seems so insecure now. Hes sixteen. I used to fight this ilness like a dog let out of a fence. Lion heart. If i felt like screaming id scream, if i felt like fighting id fight. I always communicated what wwas going on, and i was trying to be the best man i could despite this sickness, at least what i thought a man was. I think my heart through it all was an inspiration to him. I had to change though or i was going to die. I know i confused him about what a man is supposed to be, because he told me. I know im better now i just need to visit him every weekend at his stepdads. Im concerned for the little guy. He needs men in his life as role models these are years that could shape his life. Its been keeping me up at night. Sorry this is off subject
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It gets better.
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