I bowl of macaroni and cheese. What can I say? It felt good. We’re being honest here, right?
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I kinda wrote this guy a ton of messages and it was stupid I didn’t like him. And he never responded …especially after I got on the meds I realised I didn’t like him . At the time though I was writing to him every moment like I fell in love with an idea of him not him … thought he was listening to me and that’s how I felt we had a connection.
I making no sense am I.
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Only real off the wall thing I did was after they were told in ER I had a very bad reaction to Geodon, they gave me a shot of it and when psych went to admit me I flipped a 200 pound wooden table at the nurse. Husband was on his way, he flipped his ■■■■ when he found out what they gave me. That was my last visit period. I refused all meds and they were not allowed to inject per legal orders. I was only admitted cause of the zgeodon reaction, I had gone to ER initially because i needed to get a med change and behavior management pdoc and I were not on ok terms. That was the NP that was just drugging me with everything to the point zombie.
I know my hallucinations and voices aren’t real, not paranoid and never have been. I have the least cool story, sorry. Though the school district may have other stories when it comes to defending my kids from ■■■■■■■■ other kids, teachers, and admin have pulled in past and tried. But I have never been violent or anything, but I can describe in great detail what I’ll do to you if you ■■■■ with my kids or husband.
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i was convinced that my 10 yr old son was possessed by the devil. i would pin him down on the bed and stand over him at night while he slept. i spoke into the darkness demanding the devil to leave. i was starting to have some really bad thoughts about my kid. crunch came when one day i couldn’t bare to look at him because i caught a glimpse of the devil in his eyes. i didn’t really know what to do but i was distressed and almost crying. i wanted my son back but the devil had him.
i drove us into town and i went to see my mh support worker. i said to her you gotta come and see my son he’s possessed . well she came tearing out of the office to check him then said to me there’s nothing wrong with my boy. she went back in and started making ph calls.
the child protection agency was notified . thats how the cto came to be in place. i’m not allowed to be with family unmedicated.
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I walked for two weeks non-stop to Florida, and then passed out at my Step Uncle Porch on his lounge chair. The Awoke 3 days later. Then I found out later his Mother My Step Grandmother told him to kill me on sight… He tried, but was unsuccessful of it… Then I turned him in for his pot.
I then left there and tried to burn myself to death weeks later with a device and never once did I get hospitalized treatment but a felon instead.
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Tuesday thread bump.
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The voices made me think I was being chased. So I traveled on trains for a whole day and went from England to Paris, France.
I ended up staying in the Ibis Hotel (Which I thought was code for Abyss) so that I could die.
I guess it was lucky that the window to the room had a cable attached to it so it wouldn’t open enough for me to jump out.
I then panicked and had 3% battery left on my phone and I called my mother and she came and got me
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I havent really done anything physically too crazy besides looking at the sky frequently waiting for a UFO to take me. But at one point in the hospital I would take 5 or more showers a day to “purify” myself because I thought j was in purgatory. I also thought I could morph into animals and would stare at the mirror trying to.
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My parents have had to get me from other states a few times lol. Once I almost made it to canada, but got kicked out of the bust station for sleeping there
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All the crazy stuff I did was before I went through my major episode.
The craziest thing I probably did while psychotic was probably like masturbate 10 times in one day.
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I jumped off a 2nd story balcony, because I was afraid people were coming to torture me.
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Left my home for about six months and lived on the streets because I thought somebody was following me. Thought they put a camera in my apartment.
Finally I was hospitalized, and told this isn’t true at all.
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I was walking along the KU campus and eventually noticed I was going in circles without realizing it as I saw the same landmarks of where I was trying to go again and again. Why the GPS in my head was that messed up was due to the psychosis obviously. I finally made the right turn and went back to my dorm but the disorientation was scary.
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Ran around to the cities churches thinking they could help me because i thought the end of the world was coming because i watched some music videos that had deep symbolism. I was up for about 4 days with 20 min naps once and awhile posting on a forum. Eventually a pastor threatened to call the police on me and i left. That was my first hospital visit before i started getting stalked.
I havent done anything overly crazy since then, except maybe almost ODing on risperidone. I took 20 mg and thought it would quiet the voices quicker and better. All it did was make my face cramp and gave me the shakes.
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I had three suicide attempts because…
- A girl broke into my house (which was a hallucination) and threathened to kill me
- The rest were just me fed up with my hallucinations
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My hospital stay… the thing that got me talking a lot, screaming actually, was that due to coincidences I thought I was a character in Nightmare on Elm Street part 3. Joey to be specific. My room had my exact address where I reside, the nurse looked me in the eye and said "take the nicotine patch off at night or it will cause “Nightmares”. The socks they gave me said “Medic” but due to someone’s creativity it sort of looked like “Me die.” There was a metal bell that looked akin to a school bell, and there was writing on the wooden desk that said “Don’t wash me; ok wash me.”
It was 2012. I had gone off my meds for a year and will NEVER make that mistake again.
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I thought an alternate universe was breaking through into ours but it was coming through bugs first. I was seeing a lot of bugs. I was certain they were all in the walls of my house because there was also a lady who talked to me from my walls.
This led me to cut holes in the ceiling to see if bugs came out. They did not. I also slept in the living room for a long time because there was a shadow man in my closet. So, not too much outwardly weird stuff.
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When I was at the hospital unbeknownst to me I was apparently on my bed barking like a dog (I had no recollection).
Then In the night when they came to check on me i thought it was another patient coming to hurt me so I screamed and totally lost it.
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