It’s the fact I can’t read. I’m effectively illiterate.
With medication its the negatives. Anhedonia being the worst of the negatives for me.
Without medication its the delusions, but I haven’t had those for quite some time.
I had to Google Anhedonia. I don’t feel any pleasure either.
When I was having trouble reading I read books I liked as a kid and young adult books.
You all seem to know more about Sz than I. Maybe that’s due to my lack of time with a psychiatrist. The times I’ve been with a psychiatrist they just ask me questions and I answer. They haven’t really explained any of this to me. I’ve learned more on this forum than I have them.
Aside from symptoms I believe it’s trying to explain to others, non medical folk, that you have a horrible illness. There is a whole slew of people I cut out of my life bc they think I am some sort of liar. Guess if they can’t hear my voices too then they don’t exist.
My thoughts on stigma.
-S
I’ve experienced hardly any stigma. I’m very blessed.
I haven’t had it horrible with everyone. Was just talking of my former friends who I lived with for nearly a decade. Most of my immediate family are very understanding.
Oh ok. I’m glad to hear that.
Long hours, bad pay.
How about a cool breeze on a hot day?
Or a warm car on a cold day?
Or listening to the radio and having your favorite artist come on?
Right now, thinking I’m the smartest person in the room and dealing with normies or morons. I feel like some of my hardcore delusions are true and real and I’m trying to get help and maybe even help people. I’m desperate for help and money too. At least I’m honest.
The mental hospital cannot help me. They failed. The doctors and therapists failed. My family failed. I failed. The government probably failed to some extent. I don’t know. Schizophrenia sucks. Do I blame God or just myself?
I’m having a really hard time feeling sad and messed up and even ‘depressed’.
I drink 10 monster low carb energy drinks a day and I’m always broke and addicted. Everyone says they make me worse, but I feel like I’m getting better. I don’t know what to do. I cannot stop. I smoke 2-3 packs a day too.
The monster energy drinks are giving me energy. They speed up my processing and other things, but everyone thinks they make my schizophrenia worse. I don’t know. Everyone ignores my stories which I think are true and blames the drinks.
Maybe I’m just a stupid loser.
I think the worst part of my sza is the avolition and the paranoia.
I feel so unmotivated and like everyone (except my blood relatives) wants to potentially kill me.
I’m even worrying about going to group home because apparently the residents take turns cooking and if one or two don’t like me - or I don’t think they like me - then I’m scared they’d poison me…
I’d say the loss of normalcy is the hardest part. Friends tend to drift away and finding a way to support oneself becomes a challenge. While others progress, you stay the same or digress.
Psychosis, and how f’ed up your world is after coming out of it…
there isnt really a hardest part. its more whatever symptom is giving you the most trouble currently.
Solid point…
The continual battle of the bulge.
Not being able to compete with the most of the population on an even level.
One of the hardest parts for me is how bad it makes me in social situations. Can’t feel relaxed for a minute around more than one person at a time usually. I guess that boils down to my paranoia. And it’s seconded by my anhedonia. Feeling like I can’t feel anything no matter what I do.