I guess seeing the difference in taking meds made me realize something was wrong. I still find it hard to accept but I guess with any illness it is hard too.
It made sense. I was always a little different. Psychosis was like…ahhh. I need these meds as my paranoia improved. My delusions still seemed real but as time goes on that has less of a hold on you. I just got to a point that I had to move on and leave those shadows behind…
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Ending up in solitary confinement in jail helped me accept it. Worst 5 months of my life. Turned things around after I got out, got better treatment and recovered.
Similar but no jail (that time) for me @agent101g . One night after seeing (hallucinating) blood all over the foyer of my apartment building and running away from it all in my pajamas and barefeet I was picked up by the police. Instead of being beaten over the hood of the cop car that night (like I had been before) I was cuffed and put in the back seat and taken to a mental hospital where I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and treated. That was the beginning of the end of my 10 years of terror living in the dark world of paranoid delusions and hallucinations. I got lucky that night. The cop that picked me up was a great guy. Years later when I recovered I wrote a letter to his Sargeant and thanked him. After going through that, after I was told by the psychiatrist that I had schizophrenia I thought, Whoa, that kinda explains things, I guess that’s a maybe, or maybe not, I’ll have to think about that. And that started the development of my insight which fueled my recovery, with the aid of meds, of course.
For me it wasn’t so dificult to accept I have schizophrenia. The hardest for me was when I was told schizophrenia doesn’t have a cure.
When I was told I had a diagnosis of sza, I was relieved. It was like finally a diagnosis that makes sense.
It was very very hard for me. I only accepted that I am sick after trying to kill myself and my brother.
I still dont accept, had it for years and never fully did, and my psychiatrist withdrew his diagnosis of schizophrenia and agreed with me that there were other causes of psychosis for me.
I don’t know how i accepted hell, maybe being to much beaten.
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