Yes 14 years and two psychotic episodes later, I struggle to accept I have sz. I know I have it. But I don’t want to accept it. Don’t get me wrong , I take my meds consistently but I take it for my mood symptoms , at least that’s what I have convinced myself … Deep down I know the truth. Accepting that is a whole other matter.
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I believe I have it now due to dopamine supersensitivity, or I just did have it all along.
Tho they call it psychosis since my last review due to my dose being low
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I don’t really know what accepting it means for me. I guess it means I recognize I have schizophrenia which I do. I look at it more like an illness in the sense in how it debilitates me. I don’t go around thinking of myself as a schizophrenic. I just experience the world and struggle with the issues or difficulties I have in life. I guess what im saying is maybe I feel like I haven’t wrapped my mind around what it means to be schizophrenic in some way. I kinda look at it more as a psychosis disorder not so much the label schizophrenia though if needed that label works.
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Just look at your history. That’s what I did. Oh yeah, I’ve been hospitalized over a dozen times and hear voices every day, that’s not normal. Worked for me, although I struggled with it for a handful of years going back and forth… and my medicine might have been what actually did the trick. It’s just because your judgment is impaired. I wish something I could say would help more.
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Whether you accept sz or not, your symptoms stay the same. In my experience, coming to terms with it is not essential to recovery/remission.
What might be more important is whether your loved ones accept the dz. Do your best to earn their support and effort.
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I know how you feel. If a loved one or our parents or siblings or someone who is so close able to accept and see beyond illness then we could accept it or at least for me I would accept it as someone is there to understand.
Even if pdoc can get it but not our circle then it becomes incredibly difficult for me to accept. I keep denying it because everyone else around me not care an iota how I manage it or even it’s a thing I need to go through and there ar certain ways I need to follow and one day they will be proud or maybe see the bright side.
But no they don’t even recognise and they completely blame me for all the things happened during episodes. So it doesn’t matter I take medicine or not they keep looking at me as if I might bite them anytime.
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@agent101g sums it up quite nicely for me. The meds might actually help you accept it, when I’m stabilised on the meds I don’t have the delusion that psychosis is just a lack of sleep or lack of happiness bundled together.
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Stop worrying about the SZ and get on with your life.
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I don’t hear voices, generally. And I try to rationalize what I see (it was my imagination; It was dark, and there were shadows, etc.). As a result, I often question whether I really have sza. The delusions are the most difficult to explain away, though. I know, rationally, that it’s not likely everyone wants to kidnap me and throw me in their trunk and that it’s delusion and paranoia talking, but I still doubt the diagnosis.
I think @shutterbug is right to an extent. If you have some clarity, don’t stress it. You can’t make the sz go away or exist by thinking about it. And while, yes, it rules a large part of our lives, it is just one aspect of who we are. Live your life to the best of your ability instead of worrying about what cannot be changed.
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I’m sorry @Melomaniac.
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If I’m being truthful I have been having a problem with accepting that I have schizophrenia and bipolar disorder its been a rough road and I don’t like the fact I have a severe mental illness it sucks I feel like it’s something I hope for a miracle for either one I don’t like myself at times because of it
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Trust the medical pros diagnosis and the fact that when unmedicated you probably think things that are untrue, hear auditory hallucinations, neglect yourself and lose interest in things that you normally enjoy. Also the fact that your a member of a schizophrenia forum.
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There is such a thing called self-stigma. That’s when a person with mental illness has negative attitudes about their condition, including internalized shame. It’s also an expectation of discrimination.
My advice is to learn as much about schizophrenia as you can. Education is very important. Schizophrenia is an illness, and just as health is health, an illness is an illness. And you, as a person, are not an illness.
Also, don’t isolate. Maybe join an in-person support group, and continue giving and receiving emotional support on this website.
You’re no less than any other person. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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I do a ton of self stigma believe it or not I was worse a few years ago with self hatred and self stigma my suggestion is learn to look at it as a part of you not who you are I know for me I’m a fisherman a archery fanatic lots of good stuff I can say about myself
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When I have a good day I think I can’t be schizophrenic can I? Then I look back how I was running missions around town out of my mind. I’ve come to the conclusion this is the new normal.
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I definitely stigmatize myself … It’s hard accepting it.
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I have the same delusion that someone wants to kidnap me and throw me in the back of their trunk. It’s scary
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