Getting high is how I got sick. I smoked crack and went to jail. Went nuts from the trauma. Been a life long toker of weed too. That laid the foundation.
I don’t know about you but if I smoke pot today I’ll be sick for months with paranoia and delusions.
I couldn’t put a coherent thought together for 7 years after my first episode. And then one day my brain just started to work normally again but I continued to have episodes. It’s very strange
Man I feel like I’m listening to my own story here.
Yea it doesn’t help but since im new to the illness even when im sober it still sucks. Im just stuck in the cycle i guess. I used to go to AA but my illnes ruined my relationships there too. They told me they couldn’t hangout with me cause i was hospitalized. Im glad i never got into the super hard drugs though cause im glad ur off crack. Dealing with alcohol and weed addiction is hard enough but something where it physically addicts u is another leauge. It was the lsd that made me really crazy. And i feel the same way at work. Someone at work even told me “u look like the type of guy that forgets things.” Which really hurt cause i couldn’t just say “cause im schizoaffective u dick.” If i did id just get an even weirder look and would probably pull my boss into the mix. I just didn’t make a big deal out of it and kind of fake chuckled
Try not to let it get you down. It’s like visiting a world we never thought existed where people say and do all kinds of mean things that they never would have done if we weren’t vulnerable. You can get through it though the first few years are rocky and then you just learn to cope
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Yea i still have faith ill come on top. I still want to get my degree and pursue something
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I never got bullied before or picked on until I developed this illness. I want to be like, hey wait! This isn’t really me!! It’s crazy. It has to be a lesson from god. I believe it can change too. Get better.
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It just goes to show how shitty people can be. I think you’ll come out ok too. People respect the struggle after a while
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It was a little different for me. I was always the tall lanky weird kid that listened to hip hop at school. I guess misfit would best describe me before my illness. But i was still a lot better off then before. But im glad im out of high school cause it turned my heart dark. I turned into a huge ■■■■■■■ right before the depression and then psychosis kicked in.
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youre still young dude hang in there. They’ll be able to the is a brand new brain someday soon. No more psychosis.
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My phone is dying. In off to bed. Take care
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Im waiting for ghost in the shell to become a reality. And yea u too!
Haha I saw it but can’t remember. I get the picture though. Donald trump is president and George michael died. The world is coming to an end anyway. Just having lived this long s an accomplishment
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“U make a mark on this world just by making it through the day”
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Try Prozac sometime. It works on that empty feeling for me. That feeling like someone reached into your chest and squeezed your heart till it popped feeling that a lot of us have
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Ill have to ask my psych about that. I think i tried it once but that was 5 years ago
Good quote. One day at a time
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I’m fine btw, I just stay up at night and scare myself a lot of the time. I’m sorry, thank you awesome guys
You guys are amazing. I’ve been up all night living out my CNS depression fiasco from drinking and then being an idiot and taking my meds cause i didn’t want to skip a dose and be a wreck later. Either way, I was going to be a wreck, but now I’m less of a wreck and maybe i can tune it all out and go to sleep. Thank you, thank you. I feel so much better, I still acknowledge my ignorance and feel shameful, but better.
i drank on olanzapine it wasnt too bad just made me eat even more than i did while regularly on it which is already alot, sometimes it made my stomach hurt badly but i never experienced any cns depression
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