What happened to me?

I used to be successful. I could make plans. I had plenty of iniative. But now? My brain is drained from its vibrance.

I suffer cognitive impairment, lack of drive and motivation, find no pleasure in things I do. I lay in bed most of the time and stare infront of me…just thinking. I think about how I used to be.

12 years ago I went through a divorce. I was devastated. People who knew me from before my divorce think that I am the way that I am today because of the divorce. They do not understand MI. They think I am weak.

Even my old boss use to say that he wants to see the old me from before meds. He think the meds changed me. …but I know it was years of unmedicated psychosis…

I am trying every day to do something else or a bit more but it is hard. I know it is hard for all of us.


I think about the good old days too. But in one way it gives me something to strive for recovery wise.


It could also be your medication / combination. Some meds work, some don’t (for me at least)

What cheers you up ?

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Please hang in there @Fellowman.
You are a really good guy.
I know it’s hard with this God forsaken illness, but please don’t ever give up.
Life is a constant struggle for me but I manage not to give up.
Do you have someone that you can talk to?
Like a therapist?

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I forgot the old days… except that I remember the bad moments fairly well.

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That can be a symptom of schizophrenia, a decline in cognitive, social and occupation performance and ability.

I do not have a therapist or psychologist. I use to see one for more than four years prior to my diagnosis. A psychologist could not do for me what meds did for me.

I have a new psychiatrist and he give me some good advice. I am seeing him in October again. The last time I saw him he suggested I take some therapy.

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Stay strong fellowman

You really are a great guy


I used to be top in my class at school in science, I was the top student at my college, and apprentice of the year where I used to work.
Now I spend most of my day laying in bed, the only useful thing I do now is come on here.


We can only hope that the cure for schizophrenia will be invented.

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Pretty much exactly the same as me…

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I like to see people smile and be happy. I used to cheer people up all the time. I use to be the clown of the party. Now I find it difficult to smile.

I was also top of my class in school until grade 10. Where I used to work I was runner up manager of the year in the country.

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I am sorry =(

Which med are you on?

Thanks. I really appreciate your kind words.

I am on 25 mg Abilify daily and 200mg Lamotrigine.

I feel it is not healthy to compare yourself to your past. Mental illness is not easy , I feel first it takes acceptance so you can face the challenge.


I cannot see why it cannot be invented. I was doing ok for so many years of my life till sz came along. Why can’t sz just be undone again?

I accept my life as it is now, and I am quite happy considering the things I have wrong with me.
I hated my job anyway.

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I think “what happened to me” also. It doesn’t help that my teenaged daughter says it to me too. I think other people think it but are too nice to say it out loud. I think we both need to let go of our glory days and be based in the here and now

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