We get most of our information through the internet. I used to identify myself with my proffesion.
I felt i belong because i was able to give my share. This gave me meaning. I lost it all due to sz.
I am thinking i just do in the moment what has meaning to me. Sitting in my apartment smoking and listening to
the radio and dream what could be. Visiting friends when i feel to lonely. Asking the internet whatever i want to know.
I just pass time. I take my depot medication every 14 days. I have my social welfare cause noone gives me paid work.
Do you see anything wrong with this lifestyle?
How would you improve this?
It doesn’t matter what anyone has to say about it. It is interesting though how much of some kind of internal guilt due to not being able to reach whatever social expectations can make us feel depressed. Proving that it is not all biological.
What options do you have in your town?
Any chances for voluntarily work, art classes, caring for animals, book club, something like that?
Sometimes even cruising through the market and second hands stores lift my mood, and helps passing the time.
On the other hand, think about it where does the whole ‘purpose’ and ‘higher meaning’ thinking comes from? Any known essentialism you’ve been exposed to through your life?
I ve been bought up in a religious country. When i would not apply to fullfill the social norm of founding a social acceptable family (i did not) have work, car,mortgage.i would be outcast. What i am now anyway.
Being engaged in society. I had this things and they didn’t fullfill me. I started smoking drinking. I drink no alcohol anymore but I still smoke. I feel really brainwashed. The higher meaning and purpose is a good point. Maybe lack of selfesteem, character defects i like to compensate.
I got the feeling there is no god at all. What i got now that is it. No heaven or hell or place of bliss or something to work towards.thanks for your comment it helped me heaps
I definitely know how it is like to live with inner emptiness, if that is how you feel. Well, in my book, emptiness us better than being sucked into some ideology that promises to give you a happiness and then fail to do it.
Just… Focus on small things, everyday things. I can’t remember where I read it, but it made a good point: sometimes even a look of gratefulness in the eyes of a dog whom you gave a food can guarantee you a heaven. Whatever heaven actually is.
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I wouldn’t be able to domesticate a dog. I just would feel sorry for the dog all the time.Its not really a void.Its more like a restricted freedom. When my life would have turned out i wanted i would live in the outback or country. Being away on my own. I used to love camping but i haven’t got a car anymore. I like these days rarely trekking in the bush.
But this escape from the city takes a lot of mental and physical strength. I planned to get organized and live in the wild. But my last trip just told me about the dangers being alone. I nearly got cooked in the sun. My void is nearly cured, took me lots of acceptance and let go of dreams.
My understanding of the illness came a little to late.
Truly, when it doesn’t matter how people respond to my lifestyle. Anyway, i don’t see a crime in it. I go for it even more. Being not only free from attachment, but as well from guilt. I love my life again. Thank you so much
A concept you may wish to look into (below)… as well as several ways out of it. (I wouldn’t feel singled out. It’s a standard problem for those who came to sz in a certain, fairly common way.)
REBT – Rational emotive behavior therapy - Wikipedia
Schematherapy – Schema therapy - Wikipedia
Learned Optimism – Learned optimism - Wikipedia
Standard CBT – Psychotherapy | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness & scroll down
DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR – Welcome to the Mindful Living Blog
MBCT - Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy: theory and practice - PubMed
ACT – ACT | Association for Contextual Behavioral Science
MBBT – An Introduction to Mind-Body Bridging & the I-System – New Harbinger Publications, Inc
10 StEP – Pair A Docks: The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing
Oh my God. How evil is the world i am living in? In christian beliefs they would say i ve been treated by demons. No wonder i am happy to live in a box. Its really to late for me. By the time i get mentality twisted into whatever else. I stay where i am at. Maybe they gonna brainwash me into a sexchange. God knows what that medication does to me. Swelling of breasts. Stuffing with my sexuality. Over a time of 25 years. They knew all along.
Thanks
Its good that nothing can shock me anymore. Good things of getting older.