Does everyone lose in life? Am I weaker today than when I was born? What will be left of me when my time comes? Am I alone? I’m finding it hard to play guitar because I’m too disturbed person, I wish I felt light as a feather. Why did I become so serious? I did nothing but joke growing up! I’ve been this way for an eternity. Who would have known underneath that child of mirth was a serious soul? Now it’s a problem and I can’t break the cycle. He wants me dead because I prevented him from being a guy. I’ve got a fatua out on me. He says " it matters". “I’m going to make you care.” Fking ■■■■■■■! And he made me laugh so much! He just couldn’t laugh at himself. “Shame is worse than death.” I’ll go to hell for a very stupid reason. I call bu ll sh it on all of this self important fart bag.
Whose he? Your hallucination?
He calls himself The Ultimate Deity, lol. A voice that made a bang of an impression a long time ago.
How’d he make a bang?
Stop believing your voices. The sooner you’re able to realize it’s just your own brain producing them, the lesser interest you will have in them and the better you’ll get.
What if they always help you?
My personal experience is different. They start ‘nice’ and then under stress they become mean and annoying.
If they were always nice, I still think it would be better to ignore them as that would bring you closer to the real world.
They don’t be mean to me but when I have a fear and such they do utilise it to help me confront it.
I take it in my stride.
I feel like a sucker and a fool for paying so much attention to them over the years, but they are not going away, maybe not even if I get real friends. I’ve got to be a skeptic and then they aren’t as cruel. I feed my subconscious mind and it spits out the content by the voices. I don’t think they fear they will die anymore since they realize that when they die they just get reborn in a slightly different form like water changing containers. I think as a child they were pure but have since been repressed to the darkside.
Mine are intrinsically linked to my past real life experiences. Therefore I dunno which part to feel a sucker about.
I just indulge and give into them from self destruction.
You mean you give up?
I’ve had SZ for three decades and I’m enjoying my life. Family, friends, hobbies, and my career give me purpose and meaning. I ignore my remaining hallucinations and delusions as meaningless rubbish caused by my illness. They’re safe to ignore.
What do the hallucinations do?
Just the usual alien crap.
How does that form delusions if you ignore them?
I have both hallucinations (mostly auditory) and delusions, I ignore both. CBT is what taught me how to do this and it’s the main reason I can function on a low dose of APs.
Yeah but how does the hallucinations interact with the delusions?
Where do the delusions come from?
Each makes the other worse if I fixate on them. That’s why I don’t.
I’m not a psychiatrist so I have no idea. Ask your doctor about this.
The shrink never goes into that. Little study of it I can see either.
The more intricate my delusion has gotten the less the hallucinations have gotten.
Indeed I can control pretty much all of my hallucinations now.