I’m curious because I am having one hell of a day and I smoke cigarettes, think ■■■■■■ up thoughts, think about just slitting my wrists to win a haldol injection, listen to metal, ect
I am having one bad day. I need a nap. I call this “code black”: ■■■■■■ up in the head but not being aggressive. Code red is angry and psychotic, prone to bad behavior. Right now I just want to drink a bottle of fireball and then smash it on my head and put a cigarette out on my arm. I’ve put two cigarettes out on my arm in the past. I sometimes want to cover my arm with those little round scars.
I am not saying that hurting yourself is good, I am saying that it is bad. I’ve done it and it’s not worth it. Just to make it clear that I am not encouraging parasuicidal behaviors.
I might call my shrink if this doesn’t stop in a couple of hours. He gave me his cell number and said to call if I am really ■■■■■■ up.
I am really ■■■■■■ up. I want someone to hit me on the head with a mallet to make me take a nap.
What do you do when you’re having one really nice time in hell?
When I’m having an episode, I get tempted to cut myself, the voices tempt me to as well, they say ‘cut yourself to prove you’re real’. I punch the wall, throw myself against the wall, pace the floor, talk back to the voices, maybe even laugh. Electricity courses through my veins and I can’t sit still. I lie down on the ground, roll about, writhe about, hyperventilate. To try and calm myself I listen to music, dance, breathe deeply. Eventually the violence of the episode passes.
I have a lot of different symptoms, so each episode is going to be different.
Rapid shifts in mood - mania then depression then mania again then mixed - when mania meets depression, then anxiety builds up, then full blown panic attacks - then paranoia, sometimes psychosis et…
An emergency situation is when I get severe Mixed States - it sends me straight to Psychosis land quickly.
My episodes always involve mood shifts and usually anxiety and panic
I just need to sleep im gonna try to nap on this here potato wagon. The word couch sounds fitting but sofa sounds like some sort of homosexual/girly drink. Sofa sounds like it’s really soft and for weak people. Couch is where I nap
I’m sorry this hit you and your having a rough day. It’s frustrating when you do everything right and it still goes off the rails.
You are a very proactive guy… I’m glad you have your pdocs number at hand.
For me… recently… the negative symptoms have been hitting me… so when I do have a hard time… it sort of shuts me down. It’s like a freeze. My brain is screamng… but my body is frozen. It’s a very disjointed and upsetting feeling.
My sis and I have an EAP in place so if one hits me… I’ve got someone to help talk me down and a place to let it ride and pass. My episodes these days are no where near as super nova as they used to be.
If I can feel that energy spike coming… that is the time for me to get away from people… go out in to an open space… run… scream at trees… kick… jump and try to exhaust myself.
Good luck… I’m rooting for you and I hope you can get some sleep soon.
Just a thought… one thing that derailed me out of the blue was an on coming cold/ flu… are you maybe coming down with something? I hope not… but just something to consider.
I hope the nap helps. Maybe take some Benadryl to help you get to sleep. When I get really bad, I try to remember to clean or bake, because those are easy activities that get my mind to focus on something else. Maybe you could try weightlifting, since that is your happy place. Do you have anyone in person you can honestly talk to about how you feel who won’t freak out? You go to school, right? Most schools have an on-campus counselor, and that might be a band-aid until you can get in with your doc.
First off the world is ugly. Like everything is just 10x uglier. Just the thought of getting out of bed makes me want to die. Everything is suddenly too much to handle and I’m incredibly sensitive. I start thinking everyone hates me. I am highly prone to delusions and it will take me much longer to recognize them as not real, sometimes I don’t recognize it until I’m out of the episode entirely. The voices come back and are loud and frequent, both the good and and the bad. Again it takes me a long time to become aware of this because I’m not very lucid in this state. I start getting paranoia attacks every night and can’t sleep even if I don’t.
I hate episodes, a lot. And the thing is once I’m in one all of that lasts for about 2 weeks. It takes a week to build up, 2 weeks of episode and then a week to die down again once all my stressors are gone every time it happens. It’s best for me to just avoid them. Almost went into one earlier this semester, but so far I’ve managed to avoid any episodes this year. Last episode I had was fall semester around exam time.
This is a question I can’t give you a answer,I hope I have one.When I have a episode,I wake up feeling lousy,go to work feeling stressed and uncomfortable and even my parent cannot tolerate me having a mental episode maybe they feel sad also to see me suffering.Its been 4 months since my last episode and I hope I would never have one again,but if I did I always spend time on the Internet browsing this forum and play online game,it does make me feel a little better,swipping the phone and not looking at people can help when your having a episode
I once had a dog that nearly died of tick fever. The sicker he got the more he got into hiding. I’m a bit like that during an episode. The sicker I get the less I want to be around people. I’ll isolate myself as much as possible in order to try and avoid as much as possible stimuli that could further trigger my psychosis and paranoia. I then try to sleep as much as I can. Of course I will be in contact with my pdoc as well. I wish you the best and hope you conquer this battle in no time.
My voices insisted that I get a potato, so I did and then I went to sleep on the couch holding the potato. My mom took the potato away while I was asleep.
Guess you knew what was best. Sometimes sleep is all it takes to get a break.
When I’m having a bad episode, happens every couple of months I take serotonin supplements and the seem to really balance out my mood. For a while I was taking it every day, but stuff ain’t cheap in that quantity. Take as needed. The real problem the other night was I foolishly drank a red bull at 9 pm. I should have fought off the impulse went home and went to sleep. I have a problem with caffeine.
I’d say don’t take any more of those “sleeping pills.” They have an effect on you that’s just the opposite of what they’re designed for, it seems. I may be wrong because I might have missed some of your recent posts, but I’d say don’t rock the boat until after your GRE.
I will kick box a heavy bag till I can’t move
Or hit the weights
The sauna till I can’t stand it
Porn. Lol
Eat a good meal
Go to sleep
Listen to heavy metal really loud really dark music so I can empathize with my own pain . It works
I get overwhelmed by most episodes then I shutdown and think of hanging myself in the bathroom or something or taking a crazy amount of drugs and alcohol and jumping off a high building.
I know that sounds gritty but it is what it is and I know that’s not the right decision
I get a lot of funny drawings and mad writing and scribbling done. I make cardboard boxes very pretty with painting and stuff. I do unreasonable amounts of yoga and walk at night and ■■■■ strangers.
I abscond, because my sister did - she died doing it but when i do it i don’t see the danger i just do it to ‘follow her story’
I get violent on command, i drink dangerous amounts of any liquid i can get my hands on, like always getting 4 cups or imagining i am in a drinking competition. I dance and do tai chi and press ups and back bends. I binge and purge and lose loads of weight. masturbate a lot, stick things inside me, cut myself.
I think writing down any triggers before it happens, holidays are really hard for me. Family gatherings, when it gets too busy, I watch the weather, makes sure my moods are stable, because they do change. Holidays during winter really are difficult. I’m talking about Christmas time. It’s good to know before it happens. Eating hot meals, hot teas, maybe aspirin, sleep, rest, playing games, do this before it happens, keep up with your meds, stay on your routine. When you do get it, get help from your family, call your doctor, stay on therapy, forums like this