“Make me one with everything.”
Your best dad jokes. Bring 'em.
(This means YOU @Patrick.)
15 Likes
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They’re both Paris sites.
6 Likes
Mickey Mouse and MInnie Mouse were getting a divorce…Mickey Mouse’s stood and said, “mickey wishes to get a divorce with minnie due to her being insane.” Mickey stood up and said, (use the mickey mouse voice), " I DIDN’T SAY SHE WAS CRAZY, i SAID SHE WAS FACKING GOOFY !!"
4 Likes
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
6 Likes
Did you hear the rumor about butter? No?
Well, I’m not going to spread it!
4 Likes
How many Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb
Just one. But its a long process where the monk keeps telling the bulb that change must first come from within, until the bulb attains enlightenment.
5 Likes
I come out with a few dad jokes every day to my partners dismay. But i usually make them up on the spot in relation to something happening. Cant seem to reach down into the dad joke vortex right now.. 
2 Likes
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.
So I went in as Batman.
4 Likes
What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance?
Lady Ba Ba.
6 Likes
My dentist said getting their kids to clean was like pulling teeth. Very easy
2 Likes
Which bear is the most condescending?
A pan-duh!
3 Likes
1515
Take my money
1 Like
“I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know…”
3 Likes
Oh I like that one! 
3 Likes
What do Christian’s say?
1 Like
Two Neighbors talking…
First Guy: “My dog got into an accident, and he has no nose!”
Second Guy: “Well, how does he smell??”
First Guy: “Awful.”
5 Likes