Were you feeling bad physically too because of your sz?

Cause I had a hard evening again… Pff, I don’t complain, but I couldn’t even walk. I was in a way very stiffed, but in other way sooo fragile, that I was like ‘‘vibrating’’ inside me… Its really scary, really. It doesn’t look human, it doesn’t sound human, its terrible. Of course, that I decided to recover. To get rid of everything, which contains me in this illness. ■■■■ the broken hearts etc etc. But now I somatize as hell…
Did you get better physically on the meds? How strong was your physical manifestation of the illness? I wrote about this before, but I didn’t have lots of answers… I just see in the psy documentaries, which i watch sometimes here and there some schizophrenics, who shake or have problems walking, but we didn’t talk a lot about this here. I really don’t know why i somatize like this. I feel sometimes as a real disabled person with all this…

The meds reduced my positive symptoms but made my negatives somewhat worse.

Are you hallucinating something inside you that doesn’t appear human? I’m not sure what you’re saying.

It’s okay to feel out of place if you haven’t been out a lot. I feel nervous as heck going out but I will go once my head pain gets better, even if I hallucinate.

No, i am not really hallucinating i think. I am really in pain physically. I get stiffed, but with some fragility and it feels like my spirit is so weak, that it feels like vibrating and shaking… Yeah, i spent 17 years in isolation. This would drive mad everybody…

You are very much human. No one is perfect. You should grab life by the balls and seize the day, warts and all (not saying you have warts, it is just a saying, meaning don’t let imperfections stop you from living.)

I lost a lot of physical strength when they put me on antipsychotic medication. I hate it.

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Yeah I tense up in pain and just like I enter protection mode. I also slow down physically.

I was weak before the meds too… Thats why i hate my illness :disappointed_relieved: . Shouldnt those physical sensations stop with the meds? Wow…

Your probably just becoming aware of your body again now that your starting to feel well on meds. I know what you mean by a fragile spirit. It takes time to regain physical as well as spiritual strength.

@ablue, thanks for the answer, but i am not really sure i am getting better :confused: . I was really scared yesterday. In a way - yes, i feel more my body now. I am getting out of my head maybe… But it was quite painful. Is it common to suffer physically too in the sz? And also, i should regain my physical strength again, once i am used more to the meds, is that right? As i said it, i was very weak before the meds too. I have different body sensations - i wasn’t able to sit even on a chair, without feeling uncomfortable… I also can sue a lot from something and all kind of stuff like that. I am often saying, that my brain is not working properly… My pdoc said, that even my motricity is bad… I feel like an autist tbh :frowning: .

Yes it can be physical pain and even existential pain. Maybe you can see about rehabilitation to help you move better? It could be atrophy from not moving for a long time.

Yeah… Now it hurts. Maybe this is the way to recovery… Maybe I am starting to feel my body once again, while I was so closed, with the paranoia, in my head for years… The problem is that it persists. I had body problems even before the meds, so I am worried. I am not sure my meds are a big help. They maintain me in a way, but in my case I guess, its up more to many efforts… What I do is chasing my bad thoughts, but I am not sure it will end up by paying… I have to recover on too many things - my thinking and the emotions. But nope - my body pains are not from the isolation, I distinguish this. They are just the manifestation of my screwed up mind and the illness :cry: . There is also the fact, that I lived for decades with the thinking of a loser, so I give myself now a courage. But I have few time left and I still make only baby steps… I am worried for my future…
But who else prefers to feel even if its pain? I sometimes prefer this instead of taking a klonopin for example…

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I am like an e.t. now tbh… I want to cry… Plus, I guess I look terrible now. My illness marked me very much even without the meds. I look as ■■■■… too ugly, too fat, with this tremendous belly… I look like retarded… And I have no time left. I guess some of my ‘‘friends’’ laughed when they knew I am ill… I have told to almost everybody in the past around me, that I am ill… Yeah, I was stupid… But its been two decades of illness. And I want to feel something else now. Just tell me to hang on… Idk why I went ill, I even feel guilty about it.

No need to feel guilty about getting ill. Just put it up to random chance and move on past that emotional block. Hang in there!

Ok, thanks… :slight_smile: I just now think, that I lived as a monster for 20 years. I was sick as hell. And its not getting better still. I even cant talk sometimes… Would you have been able to swallow 20 years of illness? Even my ill friends are in shock by my isolation…

I’ve been agoraphobic for about 20 years also. I haven’t gone to school or outside work for that long, spending a majority of my time at home. I still went out here and there when I was well, but ever since getting SZ and a chronic headache that gets worse when I sit or stand (it was like a 7-8 out of 10 on the pain scale all the time), I haven’t even been going out once a week.

I lost touch with my friends, even my online friends who I played games for 10 years with (and ruined my elbows in the process.) But there’s still hope, I can get a fresh start with new people if I can just control my head pain. It’s not even the hallucinations that bother me too much, it’s the head pain that rules me.

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Yeah, I guess we are the sufferers here. We live in parallele universe compared to the normies… Are you married naturallycured? Me no. I cant handle a partner, while sometimes, I need to be in calm in my bed, wow… what an illness, isn’t it?
and for the older participants here who are wiser than us- how could we swallow 20 years of illness? I am 36 and I find myself ill since the age of 6 years old tbh…

Oh, I have headaches too. I find its because of too much rumination over dumb things… Why is yours?

I want to eventually marry someone, but I need my home business to succeed and my head pain / symptoms to be fully controlled before I do that.

I believe these issues can be overcome with great effort, but pain is the first thing that needs to be controlled.

My headaches are from a cerebrospinal fluid leak, from a brain injury I sustained in 2015.

Oh cool. I wish you luck then! Me too I want to be freerer with the symptoms in order to start look for somebody. I am not functional at all now. I even cant sit at a coffee outside, nobody will want me like this. Plus, I have the paranoia from others still. and it will be difficult to find somebody with my look now. Its unhealthy and overweight. you’ll do it, lets keep hope, yeap :slight_smile: .

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It’s way easier for a woman to find someone than a man, so when you’re ready you’ll definitely find someone who is compatible.

Yes, let’s keep hope.