Weird thoughts and dreams

Like yesterday (thanks to playing GTA) I was driving and there was a crowd of people and my mind told them to ride them over. stuff like this freaks me out because im not about that kind of life.

lots of sexy dreams and this one girl turned into cardboard (?) idk anyone else have odd thoughts/dreams, more so than before your illness?

Man. I always drive on the sidewalks in GTA.

As for weird dreams, I’ve had my share.

I did have a lot of weird dreams during psychosis but don’t give a lot of importance to them. They’re just dreams.


i always dream sexually bizzare dreams. like i dream about naked guys even though im heterosexual and i dream about them playing with their dongs. which is so ■■■■■■■ insane not only am i cursed with this illness and with my dreams and wishes being stepped on on a regular basis NO i also dream about ■■■■■■■ GAY ■■■■

Dude relax. That isn’t uncommon at all.

nobody i know has their dreams and wishes stepped on like i experienced throughout my life - fact.
nobody i know has had a mental illness and spend one or even more than an entire year living in delusion - fact.
nobody i know got their body destroyed because of their mental illness or any other issue they faced throughout their live - fact.

im the only guy i know who had such a piece of ■■■■ life and it isnt changing - at all

Man you’re talking with a whole forum of people who have had similar experiences.

I went from being 2 months away from training for a 36k position at a restaurant to mostly bed ridden and psychotic for a year.

I mean, I’m sorry sz sucks but you’ve gotta man up. You should be good at that right?

its not just the sz its the entire life ive had its nothing but conjectures of good things happening in the future - but with me they never do. i swear to god or whatever there is - nobody on this earth has had such a shitty unfullfilled life as i had.

Melodrama won’t get you anywhere.

I’d say you are still delusional if you think that.

People wake up blind and deaf every day. People are starving. People are in extreme amounts of physical pain from all sorts of illnesses.

Sorry you can’t climb to the top like you wanted. You should still be happy you’re alive.


I dreamed that some people who I was in an affair with at the time, turned into fish and I saw them in a stream so I was determined to become a fish also. So I went into the water and became a fish.


■■■■ being alive if it gets you nothing no feeling at all
id rather be deaf and have a sense of being autonomous
id rather be blind and have a sense of having a future
id rather starve than be overweight. id rather have pain than the illusion that everything is going to be fine. this whole life is ■■■■ and nothing like the people i know - who are enjoying it. i get nothing while they get everything. where is the sense of justice? what ■■■■■■■ top are you speaking about anyway i never even dreamed to be at the top but have some place at the bottom and im even denyed a place at the bottom as this whole ■■■■■■■ illness has proven to me.

There is no justice here man.

Sorry dude. Life sucks. You’re supposed to make the best of it. That is all anyone else is doing. That’s why they are entertained by the little things. They let it matter.

that is if you are made to believe that you even have a choice in your decisions. im not even allowed that because my ■■■■■■■ voices have destroyed any sense of free will and replaced it by destiny. so all of this ■■■■ happening to me or you was meant to be and is all part of some ■■■■■■ up plan of how the world ought to work

There is no God or plan or destiny man.


Wish I could help you man. I really can’t though.

destiny is undeniable even on a naturalistic worldview. because everything is determined by the physical world and our genes can be scientifically calculated to take one direction instead of another so there is nothing free about our choices actually. the only free thing i experienced throughtout whole life was the illness and even that had alot of factors which i couldve realized earlier if i werent ignorant of them

Each one of these words was my choice to say. I even revised it once.

I can’t talk to you anymore.

well you were meant to say them because i replied to you and you felt a need to respond

My dreams have become much richer in color, detail, and texture. Yes, as I have gotten older they have only gotten sronger. I’m a deep lucid dreamer, always have been & hopefully always will be while on this planet.

My dreams are always weird. Last night it was swimming out to these floating blocks with little platforms to jump off and do tricks.
Then it was just watching massive waves with a very strong current.

Basically it’s reminents of jumbled up stuff from a trip to the beach I went to the other week

Man you gotta quit complaining and go seize the day. Take control over your life. You have that power. There’s always time to start fresh