I get this mood every once in awhile. It’s just like halfway mad and halfway don’t give a sh*t. I don’t know why I get this way. I’m irritated but not at anything in particular. But I hate it. I’m restless but don’t have the energy to do anything. I’m stuck in some weird middle ground in the middle of nowhere. I hope something shifts soon. Even if I have to commit to a bad mood at least then I could just take some Ativan and just sleep the day away.
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Do you think it is the schizophrenia, the meds, or just a mood issue? I often get hit with the ‘I hate everything I have ever done and everything I have ever said is stupid and makes me look like a fool’ feeling. I can never quite figure out where it comes from. But it usually happens right before I go to bed.
@Futomimi it’s definitely a mood thing. I took Ativan. Sometimes it’s all I can do.
I think I’ve had that “I hate everything…” one before.
@Leaf Did you ever experience it before the schizophrenia. (I’m not implying it isn’t a mood. I totally believe you. I just wonder if it is a mood that the Sz brought to light)
@Futomimi my sz started way before my bipolar as far as I remember so in a way sz brings them all to light. /Everything is intertwined now I guess.
@Leaf True. I’d say that my sz has intensified all of my other psychological neruosis (and some character flaws too). It is like applying pressure to a vase that already has small cracks in it. The cracks just get bigger.
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