One thing that has persistently been a hindrance to my sz recovery journey is social anxiety. Even though all my postive symptoms have been taken care of for a long time, anxiety still rears its head often. Even just this morning. I really, really wanted to attend a certain community gathering today. I made it about half way there despite the anxiety growing stronger the closer i got. And turned back to go home. So defeating! So demoralizing!
Anyone else? Do you suffer from unreasonable social anxiety? Have you made strides toward dealing with it and moving on with your life? Thanks guys.
I went off my meds for a couple of weeks in 1989 and my illness came back. I started having symptoms I’d never had before. I suddenly became self conscious, and I had never been that before. I have not felt natural around people since.
Sounds like therapy would be beneficial. It doesn’t sound like a pill would help.
Interesting. So for you it was almost a sudden change within yourself through psychosis that has stayed with you all these years. Super fascinating.
For me, i think a big reason is ever since early teen years ive slowly become more and more critical of myself. Its so hard to not be inwardly focused and constantly self reflective and overanalyzing all that i do. Its exhausting. Very difficult to get out of my head and just experience my environment and people around me without deeply thinking and half focusing on my own conduct.
Yeah i tend to agree. A couple of different pdoc’s have recommended i go back to therapy. Especially with an early trauma based therapist apparently. I want to try it. Im a little fearful of delving into the past with a stranger though. And therpists havent been that helpful for me in the last. In my experience they have rarely said anything i didnt already know.
But I’m considering it.
Also, i feel i need to be doing a lot more exposure therapy on my own accord day to day. I go through periods that are too long without socialising with others.
I found that cbt really helped my anxiety.
The anxiety seems to be that you’ve already made up your mind what the people are going to think and it’s negative. Someone close to you did some social damage.
Yeah i think ive done bits of cbt throughout the years which has helped. Im definitely a lot better in most areas mentally compared to ten years ago. But the social fears just seem so i grained in who i am. Like it might not even be a mental illness in my opinion. Maybe im just meant to be a hermit? But still, i dont want to resign to that just yet.
Hmm. Interesting. Yeah to be frank, yeah someone close to me in my past really messed with me badly in many ways. Could be a big part of it.
fake it to make it! Only my old community nurse new I had really bad social anxiety, she picked up.
I have had issues with social anxiety too.
I think you have to learn to pursue events even when you are unsure about going due to anxiety. You have to learn to reason with yourself when you don’t feel capable. Make rational questions to yourself. “What is the worst thing that could happen” “how realistic is that”. A lot of things seem worse than they actually are. Remember if you go and have a bad time, you can always leave early.
It also gets easier the more you are used to it. When I go out a lot I don’t think about it at all. When I’ve been isolated for a month or two its a much bigger worry about how things will go.
Yeah i try to do that. Sometimes it tricks myself and works. Good tactic. But sometimes its not enough.
I fully get everything you said. But sometimes my skill of reasoning with myself is just too hardwired against me it seems. You are right though. And yeah it definitely doesnt help that i havent really been social out and about for months now. Need to get myself out there. I think the certain thing i wanted to attend this morning might be a bit of a higher level of intenstiy than im currently able to do. Gotta start smaller and work my way up.
@Ozzyskits I think for me and my social anxiety I get overwhelmed in busy places like supermarkets, and its coming to Christmas and no home delivery slots I’m going to get overwhelmed buying my food.
Its like a muscle though. You will get better at reasoning with yourself the more you do it.
Just don’t beat yourself up about missing one event. I hope you try again soon
Yeah i feel ya. I dont get anxious in supermarkets much anymore. Because i dont usually have to interact. I just ignore the people around me. I get anxious in places where socialising is a part of whatever it is.
Thanks Star. I appreciate your words.
Sorry to hear you were too anxious to attend the community gathering. Was it the size that was intimidating? Are there smaller gatherings you could join first?
I have bad anxiety, yes. So much so, I haven’t had offline friends in years. Do you like reading? I found a fantastic book called The Social Skills Guidebook, by Chris Macleod, MSW. It’s given me a lot of insights and I’m going to reread it one day. I just wish Covid didn’t happen, because everything is done on Zoom, and I’m too paranoid to get a webcam.
I haven’t had a lot of opportunity to practice my skills, but I did feel more comfortable calling the helpline for those with mental health problems.
Thanks. Yeah i will try to build my way up to larger social occurrences. Start with smaller goals.
I saw a doctor who gave me a great tip. He said, “Treat a crowd like skiing down a hill. Just worry about one person at a time. Take it hill, by hill.”