Schizophrenia.com

Watching my past triggers me

Any picture or video of me before schizophrenia makes me sad…I was much better than now.
I need to stop myself from seeing anything that reminds me of how I was before my sz.

What about you?

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I know I can recapture my youth. Just going to take a lot of patience and focus.

This isn’t completely denial. Maybe a portion. Like I figure once I hit 90 I’ll start to slow down.

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Seeing myself in photos before I got hit with this God awful illness makes me sad as well.

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When I see photos of my past paintings I wonder where did I get the energy from. I feel like a shadow of my former self…

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Yeah, I get sad. I used to play football in my high school team, and everytime I see a picture of myself then, I get kinda sad on what I missed. My illness stopped myself from enjoying a social experience with my peers. Before, I was a happy kid and the pictures back then reflected on that. But now, I’m just a hollow shell of my former self.

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I have mixed feelings. Before my diagnosis my life was going way off track. Now it’s back on “track”. So old photos don’t exactly fill me with nostalgia.

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