Want a child

after years of thinking I didn’t want to have any children of my own I’ve changed my mind and decided I should go for it.

right now I’m 33 and I’ve given myself to 40 to get the job done, this means I need to find a career, meet a girl, and then knock her up in 7 short years.

finding the right girl is going to be difficult as I only want one child, and really i only want sex to conceive. once we’re pregnant i think i would prefer to keep my strength up by practicing abstinence…i guess i have to be upfront about the lack of sex in our relationship and my firm stance that I’m too old and poor to support multiple children.

as far as passing on sz traits to my child, I’m generally unconcerned as most of my life I’ve seemed to be only in the beginning stages of sz…prodromal? excluding a couple psychotic breaks maybe drug induced. in fact i don’t thinik ill tell my partner at all about the sz, shitty thing to do, but “the ends justify the means”

i guess subconsciously ive been preparing for this with all the diet and exercise, but really its just starting to hit me about how serious i will have to start taking life, i still have a lot of bad habits to break

anybody have recommendations for meeting women? i’ll be going back to school but i assume most of those girls are too young for me, i really don’t want a girl i have to wait to mature…i’ll also be exploring the online dating, hopefully all those women aren’t just looking for casual romance all the time. other than that ill be hitting on women at the bar every Saturday night. so those are my options for meeting a mate…any thoughts?


You can do it @yaz1. You just need a friend who has lots of connections and knows lots of people.


I have to ask, why do you feel the need to have a child?

Also, you should definitely tell your partner about your SZ, especially if there’s children involved.
She has the right to know what difficulties the child might grow up to have.


I just think i’d like to raise a child. add to the family tree, what else am I going to do with my life really?

I’m not sure i’ll tell her, ill just say I had stress induced psychotic break once.

You’ve had psychotic breaks. The stress of having a child could trigger another one, she should definitely know.

Before having a child, you should be absolutely sure you want to have one, and that you can handle the responsibility.

Maybe start with having a dog, to see if you can handle being responsible for raising and caring for another being. Plus, dogwalking is a good way to meet people.


thanks the best! yeah a group of friends would definitely make things easier.

maybe ill try a dog of my own. good idea.

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my biggest concern is income, if I begin my career in a couple years from now. I think I would be ready for a child.

You should tell your future mate about your diagnosis, for one thing, while she is pregnant there may be things which could protect the mental health of your child, like prenatal choline and DHA.


right. after the fact ill tell her

That does not sound fair and it sounds very stressful. You should not stress out pregnant women. That may actually be a risk factor for sz as well.


well I have time to consider things, I will probably tell her, but maybe not. I don’t know if I need any stigma…and chances are the baby would be healthy with proper nutrition

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It is not necessary to have a career in order to have a child.
It is also not necessary to have a girlfriend.
You can do adoption or surrogacy.
Good luck!

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That’s ■■■■■■ up. If you do that I wouldn’t be surprised if she took the kid and left for good.


good for you @yaz1 i hope you can do it

i have been trying to meet the right person but its taking a while, i’m doing lots of things to meet people though like attending my clubhouse, the community garden and i am hoping to start dance classes soon too, so keeping my fingers crossed as well,

good luck in your pursuits yaz :wink: wish you all the best

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Not cool at all.


thank you @Resilient1 . its great your getting out there, that’s my next step…best wishes to you too

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i think its ok to not tell her everything tbh, i would probably just say that i have had problems in the past and i take medication for it, if she asks what the problems were i will just say i was paranoid and fearful about things, thought my life was in danger, she may even sympathise with me if i say this to her and i would not be telling a lie.

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I’ve considered adoption…if I don’t have one of my own I will probably adopt

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i thought about adoption but i doubt i would be allowed as i would be seen as a rsik by the assessors, i would like to think it was an option but i dont think i would be allowed :frowning: xxx