so here’s the deal, I was a heavy meth user for serval years and the doctors can’t determine whether the drugs caused my symptoms or if I am in fact schizophrenic. I really don’t care about the diagnosis at this point because my symptoms are what they are and usually I handle them very well. one symptom that bothers me though is when I lay down and close my eyes to go to sleep at night, I see full color images or even, for lack of better terms, “videos” of people I know, people I don’t know, myself from an external perspective, places I’ve been, places I’ve never been, or the strangest, computer screens or cell phone screens as if it’s through someone else’s eyes. I’ve asked my dr what they are he says it’s my mind slipping into dream mode but the thing is they happen as soon as I lay down, before I’m even falling asleep. Ive done a lot of humiliating things throughout my substance use and I have this fear that people I know can see everything I see, or that they’re somehow recording everything I do, and that I have absolutely no privacy no matter where I am. what makes it worse is that the voices seem to correlate with the “videos” and images. even last night they were so vivid. I even woke up to what seemed like someone standing next to my bed and I even felt pressure on the mattress as if someone were trying to lay in bed next to me. I know my dr will just tell me that they’re tactile hallucinations and it’s my mind producing all of this stuff but I just can’t help but wonder…is there something going on out there that I don’t know about? thoughts? similar experiences?
I’ve had similar experiences. The voices know you think it’s a paranoid experience and they are ■■■■■■■ with you. They like to ■■■■ with people.
i totally understand. the way I’ve always explained it to myself is that it’s almost like a secret satellite that people can see me through no matter where I am. Maybe I’m in my room or out in public or anywhere else in the world. no matter where i am i feel like they can see me. And sometimes i can see those video type things when i close my eyes and its… not pretty. its really confusing and irritating and i totally get it. I’m always questioning whether or not the things i see when i close my eyes are not just hallucinations. they feel like something more. i know saying this never helps but you’re not alone <3
I had the same. But not when trying to get asleep. When awake.
I have daydreams of hurting people and myself but it happens during the daytime. Well at night too but mainly during day. When I was bad off I only slept for three hours a day. That made it worse. But now its been a whole month. They gave me trazodone or something for sleep but took me off.
I see faces of random people when I fell asleep too almost every night.
yeah if i’m very tired soon as i close my eyes the images start before i fall sleep, it’s called hypnagogic or hypnopompic hallucinations. They can be visual, auditory, tactile or sensory, they occur during the transition from wake to sleep or sleep to wake, can be short or prolonged. They are regarded as normal if that is what you are having.
just met with my dr today and he said the same thing. just that my mind has a hard time differentiating between conciousness and unconciousness. something like that.
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