I think the gist of it is: if you can’t feel loved for who you are it’s because you have spent most of your life identifying with some mirrored behavior from loved ones who only approve of us by associating who we are as what we do.
If we expressed how we really felt? We wouldn’t likely feel accepted because we got the message about who we are as being ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ long ago. Or rather what we really feel gets usurped by our personal perception that what we feel is ‘wrong’.
Makes a lot of sense!