I got the idea that I was the enemy

A German name was not good to have in the US when I was a kid. I hated myself.

It made a scared bully out of me.

sorry to hear you felt like that =(
I hope you feel not so much like the enemy now.

I hope you will feel accepted now and that people like you. There is no reason why you should feel like an enemy.

I sometimes reacted and thought I was special. That can also be a problem.

Yes, perhaps we need to find the balance between outcast and too special. But I also think it is important for every single human being to feel like they are in some way special. Otherwise it is just so depressing.

Loving everyone seems rather unlikely. We a drawn to some people and repelled by others. Ideally, we would realize equality and justice.

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