Update - stuck in the mud

Last time I wrote i was experiencing a mixed mood and wanted to cut. That was Sunday night.

Yesterday I crashed into depression again and my husband went with me to a day hospital to see a pdoc but it was chaotic and overcrowded and we left without seeing anyone. The public health system in my country is s**t.

Longing to see a pdoc and waiting till after we move house early next month. Fortunately I have my kind mental health social worker phoning me tomorrow and will share with her.

Alien has still been at it tormenting me with evil inserted thoughts but seems calmer today - only slightly.

Feel still depressed but at least I could read a book a little. But life is so grey. This depression is so draining! It never seems to end… I wake up and dread the day. Even making breakfast seems too hard.

Why am I so down? I took 400mg amisulpride since last week and two days got relief and then it came back.

I’m trying to avoid hospitalisation.

Trying to survive

Trying to move forward despite the fog and sucking mud clawing at my insides.

Uhhhhhhh…

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What kind of thoughts does Alien insert?

Lucifer inserts violent, suicidal and homicidal thoughts

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Alien inserts exactly the same. Thoughts to kill my husband and it’s awful! I’m not a monster!

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We are not defined by our thoughts. Don’t worry.

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It looks pretty severe. You could try a benzo until you get the thoughts of killing people out of your hed.

I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time Saadiqah. I hate hearing voices, it is difficult. I hope you feel better soon.

I hope you get the treatment you need soon @Hadeda.

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