Update and self help

Lounge
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I have been focusing on my freelance career for now and I will boost it till end of december so I will have a lot to do during the freezing months.

I have put myself a schedule and calendar and I work like an employee from 8 - 5 and take small breaks. I think by next year I might even launch an online business or start an advertising agency. Who knows. I just need to focus on productivity for now.

Other than that, I kept a diary for 2 weeks and I will see my therapist tomorrow and I have been doing very well till now.
Only today I started talking to myself again and I am not sure how it is getting triggered. I had stopped talking to myself since Wellbutrin 300 mg.

Couple’s therapist called me too and she will do a separate evaluation on me and my partner to see if we need counselling and what is the problem with my emotional detachment and general craziness. It is just fluctuating I guess. A month I am in love and happy, another month I want to move away and live alone. I am not sure what is my problem and I am very lucky to have a partner who is putting up with my nonsense and ■■■■■■■■. He’s a great guy. <3

My diet is going well, I will lose around 14 pounds by christmas and another 10 pounds in january so by Valnentine I will be my old self again and sober and healthy and happy.

My only remaining problem right now is the ‘talk’ to myself. It is creepy and humiliating other than degrading. I am also talking in public sometimes. I am not sure how I can stop it. I will see a neurologist sometime soon.

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Have you always talked to yourself, or is this just happening on your current antipsychotic? Just wondering if it’s med related.

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No never. I used to laugh a little on Geodon.
This talking started since I started taking Latuda.

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OK, there’s your answer then I guess… :slight_smile:

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Latuda has not been a good med for me in general but it does not have a lot of side effects.
I sleep well and no extra appetite. so I just don’t know which med I should take that will not make me obese

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Abilify is a good med for me, but if I don’t take a bcomplex with it, my appetite sky rockets. I’ve also got other side effects that I put up with because it works to keep me out of hospital. I’ve kind of been forced to stick with it.

It’s all a sucky compromise at the end of the day with meds. At least with the current ones available. I feel your pain…

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I am not sure which is better

Latuda and wellbutrin
I talk to myself
work and focus
I sleep well
My symptoms are fluctuating

Geodon zeldox
I can be as skinny as I wish. Helps me control my weight
insomnia
irregular sleep hours therefore crazy lifestyle but I work from home so no problem.

I guess I need to quit wellbutrin and latuda and switch back to geodon since also i will only work for myself from now on.
I was so much happier on that med when I took high doses.

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