Hi, I have been being treated for anxiety and depression for the past 5 years. I always thought i had schizotypal personality disorder and my psychiatrist says that it is likely but never gave me any diagnosis
in the past i had problems with paranoia, i worked in a really toxic environment where the other staff didn’t like me and would complain about me to the management and the management would believe what they said because the other coworkers had been there much longer, so i had thoughts that they were looking through my internet history and putting cameras around the office to watch me, i knew this was not real though. once i left the job, those thoughts seemed to pass as well and i felt better
recently, i have not been given any hours at work (i work a casual position) and im getting worried about making all my payments, i’m a student as well but i have a car etc.
a few nights ago while trying to sleep it felt like i was high on pot but i was not intoxicated at all. my thoughts were running at a mile per minute but they were such unusual thoughts. while lying there i had to go to the washroom but i kept thinking about how i shouldn’t leave my bed incase something bad were to happen, i became very scared for no reason. after thinking about it for a while i finally went and it was fine… i woke up in the middle of the night to hear noises, one time it was the sound of silverware clanking, as if i was having dinner in a room with other people (like forks on a plate etc) i wasn’t sure if it was because i was half asleep, but eventually it passed
now a few days later, i still feel like im having such odd thoughts and i feel like im moving so slowly. yesterday i left school early because i felt like i just HAD to get out of there… i felt freezing even though it was not that cold out, when i was waiting for the bus i was getting extremely agitated that it would not arrive at all. once i got home my entire body felt like it was falling apart. everything hurt like i just ran a 10k marathon so i layed down but could not sleep, i ended up just getting kind of drunk to feel more normal
if anyone can offer any thoughts on this i would be happy to hear them, i feel as though even if i explain myself to a doctor they seem to tell me its “all stress” and not to worry about it, as though i wont be taken seriously until im near death
Psychiatrists have heard it all, so they tend to come off uncaring. Truth is it’s their job to handle cases like that. Anxiety and stress can do a lot… I’ve known people with anxiety disorders. My advise would be to not self diagnose. That being said, you may or may not have an illness like schizophrenia, but ultimately, focus on treating your symptoms without worrying about the diagnosis. It could relieve some of your stress and give you realistic, reachable goals with your mental health. I hope you find relief soon. We are all here for you!
Sz is characterized by both positive and negative symptoms.
You could have simply been in an environment that fostered paranoia. Have you always felt the same at other jobs as well and not just that one? Racing thoughts are a typical sign of anxiety, and it sounds like your anxiety was leading you to a panic attack. The things you heard may have been hypnagognic hallucinations (hallucinations had upon waking from sleep or being on the verge of it), however if you continue to experience these throughout the day separate from sleep you should be wary.
Now for negative symptoms, you haven’t mentioned any. Do people ever comment that you don’t have much expression? Are you capable of managing self-hygiene and shower regularly/brush your hair? Things of that nature.
To me it seems like you’ve been having to deal with very stressful experiences in your life, not necessarily sz. But again I’ll throw out my disclaimer that if you are truly concerned you need to see a professional because only they can really let you know what’s up. Everyone on here will just throw around opinions, including myself.
If you are diagnosed as sz you will probably have to take anti-psychotic medications, which can have a variety of unpleasant side effects. Once you’re on these med’s it is hard to come off. If I were you, I would try to make it without being diagnosed and put on med’s.
I was put on antipsychotics a while back. my psychiatrist tried me on two different ones, invega and latuda because of my paranoia, sometimes i also think that i’m like the next evolution of human and i’m the only one in the world (grandiosity), but the meds made me really anxious so she stopped them
as for negative symptoms, i have very little emotional expression. people think that i’m upset all the time cause i don’t smile. i have no friends and i never really have, not sure if i have the capacity to have relationships with others. ever since i was maybe 10 i’ve had a really vivid fantasy life, where i imagine myself having friends and relationships and i would spend time in bed just dreaming about them. i suppose this is why i’m more similar to a schizotypal
i think i do have decent hygiene however my room is always a disaster and i dont have the energy to clean it, i’m also not bothered by the mess.
I noticed maybe two months ago my perception changed. like, lights are too bright, noises are too loud. when i stare at something it seems as if its not really in focus. i went to get my eyes checked and they said my prescription hasn’t changed since a year ago, so i don’t know what that’s about.
i’m not out for a diagnosis online, just interested to see if people have had similar experiences. i’m seeing my psychiatrist in a few weeks
I would just wait and talk to your pdoc in a few weeks. I know the symptoms suck but hang in there until then. Maybe your pdoc needs to up some medicine or put you on new ones. Im not a doctor but when I had my psychotic break I was way out of it. I really couldnt distinguish between real and fantasy. My family are the ones who caught onto that something wasnt right and the pretty much forced me to go and see a pdoc. The amazing thing was I started getting sick when I was 21 but didnt see a doctor until I was 26. Good thing you already have a pdoc. It can save you from years of hell.