Hello everyone. I think I need some advise.
Currently, I’m a second-year History and Celtic Studies student at University. Though this is my second-year, this is actually my third year at University because I repeated my first year due to a worsening of my schizophrenia. I love my course academically. I love learning new things, and I really do enjoy History and Celtic Studies. My lecturers are aware of my diagnosis with schizophrenia, and are very helpful to me because of it. It all seems pretty good.
However, because of my schizophrenia, I simply can’t complete the course work involved. My mind is so busy running around in circles that actually sitting down and finishing an essay is beyond me. My parents don’t understand. They are hard-working people, and they can’t understand why working at something is hard for me. Socially, I’m struggling too. I find it extremely difficult to connect with people, and I have this unsettling paranoia that everyone is out to get me. Also, I have this fear that History and Celtic Studies aren’t what I’d like to make a career out of, despite the fact that I enjoy them. I mean, people can love something without wanting to make a living out of it, right?
But then what can I do? My parents would never allow me to drop out of University or switch courses. I feel I’m locked in a box, and that my mental health is getting worse because of it. To be completely honest, I hate University outside of the learning part of it. I said this to my parents and they just say that I must stick it out.
I’m not sure if I’d like to drop out of University; I think I’m confused about everything. But one thing I know, while I’m getting confused, the hallucinations are coming back due to stress. I’m already seeing things - they are indistinct, but I know they are there.
So I’d appreciate any sort of advise. I think I need it. Has anyone here been to college? How did you handle it? Is there any recommendations you can give me?