Uh-Oh on my first day back

So I took my xanax on time and went to class, and for some reason I started hallucinating and felt very uneasy. I went ahead and told my prof about my condition and he said thanks for telling me and told me I can step outside if I need to during class. I was pretty upset by having a mini-episode because I have been symptom free. I am taking 16 hours and two honors classes this semester, and one of my classes is very long, with a lab and frankly it’s abnormally busy. I think I might have to drop a class, I think this might be a stress reaction, because it happened right after I bought the textbook for the abnormally busy class with a lab.

But it’s a junior level course and I am the only sophomore in there, so I really don’t have any business being in there…I emailed my advisor asking for an appointment ASAP.

I did really well despite a full blown episode for a few days last semester, I made all A’s. I just feel like I might have bit off too much to chew this time and got cocky.

Well, you do what you can do, right? I don’t like being negative and you are doing more than me, but I am
a little wary when I hear ‘remission’. You can ignore this obviously. It’s just in MY case, I know I go through periods where my symptoms SUBSIDE, but never TOTALLY go away. But hopefully you will be right back on track, if you are getting “A”'s, than you are doing a lot of things right. Over-confidence has been known to sink me in certain situations. I wish you luck.

thanks! I think it was probably too long without xanax. I went over 8 hours without it

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Well that’s excellent that you might know what caused an episode. If it was simply a matter of not taking your xanax on time, then the problem (and solution) is under your control, right?

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thats was an good episode, and you where aware about the warning signs.

i am so uneasy with the thought i could climb upon the meeting table during an conference call
with abu dabi. naked.

I’m glad your retracing your actions and looking at it logically. There have been times I’ve stupidly panicked about a glitch which only made me glitch harder and made me panic more, which made the glitch bigger and then I really panic and then it’s show time for the entire head circus.

Very cool of the professor to be like… "Ok, cool, step outside if you need to, no harm no fowl.

Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s frustrating to say the least when you think it’s going great and then CLANG. But you never know how far you can push it until you DO push it.

Be proud of yourself for realizing that for now the class load might be this far and no further and next session it might be a little further still. Just like your weight lifting… I’m sure there are times when your body has said…
“Hold on there… let’s back it off and take it in smaller increments and then we can beat this last goal.”

The fact that you’re still trying is a huge accomplishment.

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thanks J! I dropped the 4 hour lab class…I will take summer classes instead.

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