TV Shows, Dreams, and Dimensions

[insidemind]

I have a hard time watching anything including YouTube videos. Anything that runs on electricity basically lol.

I prefer books right now or just doing nothing like smoking cigarettes, thinking, and doing the very basics in life.

I am convinced (at least today) that I’m a paranoid schizophrenic who does not hallucinate at all. Am I high functioning? Not sure. I cannot hold a job or go to school. I’m not interested anyways; at least because of what happened to me at the Library a few years back. I gave it my all and I nearly lost my soul and will to live.

Basically, I either dream or have dreams while awake where I remember other lives where I was an ‘actor’ or something for lack of a better term. I literally think that these tv shows we are watching are actually real or based on reality in other dimensions or parallel universes. Is this strange? Hell ya it is!

I don’t think I was ever an actor. I would never want to be one. But I constantly think about philosophy, existence, and the mind.

Like how do people come up with ideas and TV shows and music? I feel like they are getting them from other dimensions, AI programs, or their own minds but that those thoughts or creative insights (even among others) are coming from a different reality.

Like I have deja vu and crap when I watch TV shows and movies. Like even the fictional ones are based on different realities. Anyone else feel like this?

These thoughts don’t cause discomfort but I’m curious if any other schizophrenics have similar thoughts and beliefs?

Since taking my medications, the intensity of such beliefs has decreased about 80-90%.

As some of you may know, I have a delusion that I’ve lived billions of ‘past lives’ in other dimensions and stuff…I’m trying to get over it.

I sometimes have the delusion that I’m an extraterrestrial or a ‘vampire’. The medication helps and since stopping the energy drinks these thoughts have basically resolved on their own.

I’ve heard of the Illuminati in a past life. I’m pretty scared I guess. I don’t like them. I think I hate them. I’m trying to be a Christian.

Like I just ‘found’ a video on YouTube where Michio Kaku explains that aliens can project their consciousness into space at the speed of light and travel/transfer it into new bodies. I’ve been talking about this for years. They say it would take like 100 years for humans to do it. I seriously don’t think I’m much different from other humans, except that I’ve been experimented on and ■■■■. And maybe these people are ‘stealing my ideas’, although I have much respect for the great genius and scientist Michio Kaku. The video came out a few days ago.

I’ve been having crazy dreams (lucid?) or sleep walking and stuff where I’m talking to ‘strange people’. Nobody knows about it or thinks it is real. I think they could be Men in Black or something. Like they could be aliens or androids. I’m not afraid anymore. Technically, I suffer from insanity, but at the same time, I’ve told my story here over the years and how much I’ve suffered. I’ve had nothing but respect for you guys and have had tremendous support. And without this forum, I think I would hate myself more.

I just hope people don’t believe me, I guess. Because if it was true, I would be some kind of lab rat or guinea pig.

Thank You!

[Jonnybegood]

All these delusions can be true but I don’t care anymore. I just sit back and smoke cigs and walk and do w.e. It’s fun to think. And I don’t think anything is crazy about me past delusions of reference Leading to grandiosity.

I don’t believe movies are made to parallel another dimension.

But I believe everything has infinite purposes.

Maybe the matrix was designed to entertain people, confuse me, as well as lead one down another path. Maybe my path intertwines with every other path ever made. You can say the butterfly effect.

But that means in order for it to be the way it is, everything had to go exactly as it has.

I think you’re getting what I’m leading to in this thinking.

But either coincidences happen because of the complexity of the universe. And they’re inevitable. Either that or the controllers of it all or god will you say has orchestrated everything perfectly.

I dunno the reason. But sometimes I think. I don’t know what I think.

Maybe psychosis make you SEE such coincidences.

I believe in science too. The claims of the universe must be supported by some kind of science. Even if there is a creator. I don’t think this is the original universe.

Just throwing some thoughts because I think about it too. Try not to be bothered by it tho.

[insidemind]

Cool. Thanks. Ya, I’m just releasing my thoughts and stuff. Pretty negative stuff. Talking helps. It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not. I try not to indulge it anyways. I’m moving on.

I never used to dream. It started recently. I’ll talk more about it later in another post. Thank you again for your kind words.