I lay in the darkness wondering,
wondering what will happen next,
will it be something bad
or will it be the best
will I finally be alright
or will I scream through the night,
I do not know
which is why I lay in the darkness wondering,
wondering what will happen next
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My quick 5 minute poem. Give me feedback please oh and in case your wondering why I’m writing a poem it’s because I love the way they flow they way they are like music but only with silent notes, I love how the words can interlock together and seem to be nonsense but also make all the sense in the world. They explain you and bridge the gab between emotions and sentences. That’s why I love poems and why I decided to try and make one.
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A good poem, long time ago I had a ritual, I walked on one beach in the darkness wondering what the future might be, The ritual ‘Unknown’ as I used to call it.
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Well I’m glad you think it’s good. I might try to make more in the future but we’ll see. I shared it with one of my friends and they said it was something they could actually connect to and I liked that. I liked that I made a poem that others can connect to. For me when I find something to connect to it helps me feel less alone so maybe with my poems I can do that for other people.
I feel that wondering about the future is okay maybe even good but I also think you have to be careful to not get obsessed with it.
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be wary of OCPoetry where young poets die…
I died there
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I sang your poem to the beat of the black label society song I was listning to… It fit nicely good poem…
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@sirBoring I do not understand. This reply confuses me.
@flameoftherhine Thank you and I personally think that it’s pretty cool that it fit in with the beat. I’m thinking of writing more but I’m not sure if I should or not.
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it was very good.
you gave us something we can all relate too.
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I didn’t realize that when I wrote I just spoke/wrote of a common experience that I have. I will keep in mind that relatable things make for good poems though I do feel that personal struggles can be quite captivating too, if it is written right. Written where we can still understand what the writer is saying, even if we don’t necessarily relate.
Once I was interrogated for bad track record
Why’s you do this why’s you quit there
For the first time in my life I told them
I decide
Nobody else
When you say don’t know what happens next
Yes you do
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@Daze I admire that you can think like that. I can’t quite think like that yet. I can vaguely guess at what will happen next but I feel that I don’t know what will happen. I feel like there is nothing to do at the moment except for to just go with it and stay afloat.
Will I? Can I?
Will I make it?
can I do it?
Is there a way?
A way for me to succeed?
To not bleed
to be able to just be me
To just be me without the judgement
and without the shame
without being called psycho and lame
To hold this weight upon my back
Without hearing that ominous crack
that ominous crack as my bones and spirit break
underneath this great weight.
The weight of my own mind
the things devised by my own mind
I’ve been working on this one too but I don’t know what to do with it. I might add to it but I might change some things too. I don’t really know.
sorry. forgot you’re 14…
nevermind