It’s ■■■■ and depressing but it made me feel a little better so I thought I’d share, anyone else find this helps?
If I was to die
A question I often ask myself is simple
If I died
Like not hypothetically or some future far of principal
Just literally if i died right now
Then what
How many people would attend my funeral?
How would the school react?
Would my dad take time of work?
The practical things
And then i start to think about me
Would drugs or a blade be quicker?
Do I leave a note or right a message to someone in particular
Where would the voices go
And it all gets a bit jumbled up
So I don’t
And I sit
And i think
For hours on end just sit and think
What if it doesn’t work
What about my brother
Is sian strong enough for this
Who do I want to find me
Swirling and swirling day and night a growing fog building up
Then
I cut
And as the blood runs along my arm a little spot clears in my mind
As if the warmth of the blood is lifting the fog away
And the more I bleed
The more it stings
The wider it goes
The more I see
The lighter the fog
The longer it’s gone
But one little patch still stays
Always there
Swirling and swirling growing and growing
If I was to die?
