Schizophrenia.com

Try to remember... coincidence

#1

I have read much about this illness and “the split mind” but I think for me it’s more of a split life or a split reality. I have one foot in lucid town and one foot in the step beyond.

I’m having a hard time fighting this one off…. I ‘m going through delusions of reference. I know my friend didn’t buy a blue car due to the power of my mind. I know that a bunch of people singing a hit song that I just heard on the radio isn’t a sign from the beyond. It’s coincidence.

Having my sis ask me about something I was thinking isn’t her reading my mind. In lucid town this is all coincidence. But in the one step beyond, I’m starting to feel not so right about this. I’ve had my sis and my brother talking me down from this lately.

No J; just because people are out and about more, and trying to make small talk doesn’t mean your life is being plagued by demigods.
No J, all the rainbow flags you’re seeing is not a sign of a science cult. The fact that many people are at a fork in the road in their life is not a sign that your controlling it with your mind.

I say this logically…

But it’s getting harder to do. I listen to my family when they say this, and I understand that. But it’s getting so much harder not to see it as a sign. I think it’s therapy time. I hate this split feeling. I hate being just lucid enough to notice myself not being lucid enough.

It makes me upset and then I panic and then my wheels fall off. So I am working on staying calm. I am working remembering that word… coincidence. I even have a small piece of smooth metal in my pocket with the word “coincidence” stamped into it. I made it ages ago. My own personal voodoo against this reoccurring condition.

But these last few days, it’s not working. I’ll keep fighting this.
Open to ideas as always…

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#2

James you have got insight into your condition. To be able to recognise these coincidences or synchronicities is of great advantage to your wellbeing. A few years ago I knew nothing about this stuff until I started to read up on sz. A few weeks ago I was going through a relapse. I noticed these ever intensifying coincidences in my environment and I was making all these connections about them which was driving me insane. I went and see my psychiatrist and she immediately adjusted my meds. I was in a terrible state at the time but my insight prevented me from a full blown psychosis. If these coincidences is starting to preoccupy your mind in an unhealthy manner please do not hesitate to take the matter up with your pdoc. Some of the symptoms of this illness we can’t reason or wish away and we have to rely on our meds to save us from the turmoil.

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#3

I’m glad you had that and the help from pdoc to nip it in the bud. There is still a piece that is fighting hard. Like a mantra, coincidence…

I’ll fight it. I’ll see my doc, I do all I can. But its like standing back and feeling half my footing crumble. disorienting to say the least.

Rooting for us both.

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#4

your little piece of metal with the word “coincidence” on it reminds me of the totems from that movie Inception- little items of special meaning that they kept to check on and tell if they were dreaming or in reality- urban dictionary has the phrase “check your totem” :smile:

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#5

Sorry you are having a tough time. Remember to be patient with yourself. You are stable and questioning what you are thinking enough to question what you are thinking… I hope that makes sense. It’s not that abnormal to see symbolism in our daily lives. Try not to panic and accept that things are what they are. We are all at forks in the road and the rainbow flags are rainbow flags but most importantly you are grounded enough to get through this.

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#6

Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time James, I get this and call it ‘foggy thinking’ when my thinking isn’t clear and I swing between delusional thinking, ideas of reference and clarity I try grounding techniques and cbt but haven’t learnt how to recognise the signs of when these are coming, you’re already half way there by acknowledging and thinking that these are ideas of reference you have to hang on to that insight but by all means ask questions, questions are good when I had my surgery I asked my mum many questions after coming around and it helped so if it helps ground and challenge you by talking to someone you trust then do so.

It’s good that you’re seeing this but I’m also aware of how exhausting it is, keep your totem in your pocket, that’s a fab idea, work on grounding there’s a 5-4-3-2-1 exercise there are two forms of this but the one I use is list or say aloud 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste then once you’re grounded you can think through the for and against that thought but when you’re feeling disorientated the grounding helps also.

I’m not a good example so I don’t know much but thought I’d offer what I can, I hope you start to feel more stable soon,

Go steady and be patient with yourself,
Meg.

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#7

Watched a show called “Tosh.0” yesterday that featured a parody of a Sz lady that believed her mind could be read by others…coincidence?
it wasn’t very funny, but wondered where they get their ideas for the show?

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#8

Like the “totems” that Mortimer Mouse referenced, I use a “safe word.” I stole this tidbit from Sadomasochism (I researched it a bit after I read the Venus in Furs when I was digging around Project Gutenberg). I also started the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, but I thought it was too cheesy to finish.

About the safe word. It keeps you from crossing the boundary of safe thoughts into more dangerous thinking. It is a way of telling your mind “I’ve had enough.” I sense when my emotions start to get worked up (this is done early on in the thought process) and I use the safe word to reset my mind.

It helps if you make your next thoughts about something positive or some script of describing to yourself what you are doing in the moment. This part is from The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh (I read it for a class). The idea is to be in the moment, “to wash the dishes while washing the dishes,” not thinking about other things.

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#9

Thank you for this. I’ve gotten many ideas from this. I like it a lot. Getting grounded always helps.

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#10

I like Thich Nhat Hanh, I don’t think I’ve read this book.

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#11

i think we are neigbours !
i am sure i have heard of ’ lucid town ', it is quite near my town of ’ stark raving mad city ', just down the road near the sweet hamlet of ’ madville '.
at the moment my head is wierd kinda hazy, next stop the bus stop of emptyness!?!
i think just go see your therapist this will have the effect of grounding you, our illness comes in waves, the trick is to ride it out.
hey, you have a head start you can surf !!!
take care

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#12

Thats great! Im going to pass this on to my sonXX

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#13

It’s good you are reasoning all this out. I call someone in my family whenever I need a reality check. I don’t want to do something stupid and lose my apartment. Maybe just run all this by the kidsis. It helps to have someone top bounce all these ideas off of. Often, it is like spinning your wheels to ruminate by yourself too much.

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#14

For me, stacking up of coincidences builds up the paranoia.

One or two I can just manage. But when coincidences pile up I tend to freak and lose it.

I have a problem with taking the bus. There are so many people who seem to be acting-reacting to me.

Partly because I was under the delusion that the world revolved around me, so I noticed things in minute detail, and over absorbed the bus surroundings. I would notice that people would grab hold of the handrail in front of me, one, two, now half a dozen people, then ten, and would think that they were holding onto me in some way.

I need a coincidence pendant too! Or some way to muffle my hyperawareness of my surroundings.

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#15

Logically, while I’m sitting at my table, taking my meds, eating my breakfast and chatting here in the quiet morning, I know… I 100% know it’s all coincidence. I can tell myself that calmly with confidence.

But when I’m getting off work from a long day and I’m tired or stressed or my meds are crashing… it’s head circus time. It starts to build up. Then I just need a reminder… It’s all coincidence. Even if I don’t think it is, as long as I keep telling myself it is… I should eventually believe it.

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