Trippin-minus the drugs

I thought I had it all figured out tonight. I have confronted my roommate several times now about this weird sound he makes when he clears his throat. I asked him if he is trying to make me mad by doing that. He said no and he seemed sincere so I dropped the subject. But it still seems he times the noise whenever I relax or show weakness. And it gets literally in my head. Like when a dentist is drilling in your mouth and it jars your whole skull.
Tonight sucks. He denied he’s trying to bother me but i was a 100% sure that it was a monstrous multi-month con and that he has been lying and he is really bugging me on purpose. And I thought I caught him laughing about how crazy it makes me. I even wrote the beginning of a huge paragraph on here detailing how I was right all along. Then reason set in and I deleted it. I’m wrong I guess. Oh well.

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I do that all the time. think people are messing with me, a running joke. still have no clue what’s in my head or not. The problem is they could be, and i wouldn’t know. It’s never funny though. it’s like less severe gas lighting. i hate accusing people in case i’m wrong! There’s always the chance your roommate is just a dick.

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My dad coughs a lot, and my SZ leads me to believe that he coughs in response to intrusive thoughts that I have, but I wish that retarded, victimized part of my brain would mind its own business.

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Yeah, it’s very possible. I thought he was cool at first and I didn’t want to think anything bad about him but he started doing some stuff that made me think he’s a real jerk. (I edited my first choice of a word there).

Dear Nick,

I think you’re a victim of your schizophrenia.

I’ve been driven crazy by the sort of thing you describe.

Jayster

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