there are many types of people in this world 
there are;
takers
givers
there are ;
evil people
kind people
when we reach a certain age…when you leave home…you are free to do as you wish.
then comes the realization that you have…’ choices ‘.
it is good to look for ’ wise ’ people in this world…peaceful people…content people.( happiness )
for me i see buddhist priests and see something that i can relate to…’ .kindness '.
i try to be like them…but i am not losing myself…my internal ’ me '.
i am making a decision to ’ add ’ something of quality to ’ myself ’ to ’ me '.
and if in turn some other parts of my personality fall away…then they fall away because they do not serve me any more .
the beauty of life is many things… 
but it is for me the ability to make… ’ choices '
take care 
Thanks, I will look upon it right now.! :running:
But I guess I’m the type of person who needs to learn things harder way.
@derpygirl have you ever tried some of those forums or group therapies where women share their experiences…? Funny thing is that I tried to speak with some of them and I got two kinds of response: first, stories about being beaten up so hard they ended up at ER or tried to commit suicide - where my stuff sounded like a children’s tale… and second, speaking about bipolar and borderline, when I got something like, are you sure you’re not overreacting. I guess that being unstable makes people doubt your intentions as well ? O.o
I just wish he would be less…demanding and manipulating. But he has such a strong personality and ability to make abnormal things sound normal…
I know that this is anything but healthy relationship. But have you ever tried to put the good and bad sides of it, and find the good to be in majority? And, also, what is healthy anyway? I’ve never been in one so far!
Thank you so much, but you haven’t seen my worst days lol.
There is a book about BPD titled “I hate you, don’t leave me” . Sums up my life lol
But thats is “strong personality” Her was and is i guess so strong She could of crushed a tank with it just by looking at it and im not kidding, She could have people doing whatever with a few words and look match Her stupidly high smarts is becomes impossible to stand up and after a time they is no want to stand up to it this types of people can and do make the most odd and abnormal things seem normal just not normal but good and in the end that i wanted them
It breaks the will so that whatever is say told to us is right, is real in my case Her word was law no questions no bends nothing and thats just how is was and is that becomes the normal IS BECOMES NORMAL i cannot stress that point more
A days when i was past around like a toy to others or acted out sexual dances and worse was normal to me to others is not able to think or imgine something like that, this level of living? abuse wahtever you call it changes and replaces the normal with a new normal that’s something others i found cannot get the head around.
Yes @Sarad i have tried those places and i use them to a point as someone lot me a pot of messed up people makes just a big pot of messed up. so times thats right on other times is not those forums are for the details the sharing of understanding in a much rawer way i guess? and yes i got a group here, we do therap and other things sadly face to face im shy i barely talk at all i been in groups when people think im not there as im too quiet
I know all about BPD and DID as i am sure is shows
You’re bipolar or sz @sarad ? I dated a bipolar girl. She had a good heart. Came close to getting married.
What is DID?
@HuckFinn… .bipolar
I couldn’t say it better myself
Dissociative identity disorder
Is was a possible dz up too i had repeated psychotic breaks and it got changed to the sza oddly i only got the psychotic breaks after “being removed or saved” on your view point form my life with Her funny never have one in the six and half years with Her only after
Hmmm…i think that is what PTSD is about… Post-traumatic…maybe the way you tried to deal with memories. I mean, six years, that is a lot!
Uh… I feel like I opened Pandora’s box 
No no dear @Sarad 
you have not trust me on that please, or maybe i was living with Pandora
You really have not is my choice to talk and post about this, i guess im surrounding like im defensing Her and everything that was done, i have done jsut that in the past in those six years was my child and early middle teen years is was very forming on me so no is my choice to talk about it
And thank you for the little tap on the shoulder is helped is really has