I think transgenderism or thoughts on transgendered natures can be a way to discover deeper part of yourself.
I know I have several hundred off switches of disinterest when regarding my identity as being a woman inside.
I feel very guyly and am comfortable in that. I know a trans woman who is a very dudely type person. She identifies as a woman but is physiologically a man and even espoused to a woman, They are a confusing duo for sure.
The trans woman doesn’t really show any signs of anxiety or social conflict, but the couple has a private life that is kept pretty well guarded.
There is that fear though, I like women who have a more masculine dis-engendered perspective. They are non-traditional and almost guaranteed to be more open minded in a way that a conversation like this could take place. I feel free speech is a must in my life.
However getting with girls like that might wind up in a situation where they do discover an inner guyliness or dissatisfaction with being effeminate. Which leads me to being with a female partner that begins shrugging of the girly nature I’m attracted to.
My first girlfriend has artwork out there of what is basically her having a ■■■■■ and ejaculating. Quite disgusting indeed.
All the same. I’m more or less bi-curious in that sense that I am intrigued by homosexuality and transgender-ism. I see it as a point in up-most to appreciate people for their character and perspective more than their sexual behavior or how they feel about themselves inside.
And indeed in that quest of being able to understand the more divergent folks of the world I have had to process a lot of psycho-sexual stuff that doesn’t really apply to me. It eliminates the shock factor and lets one know itself in the long run instead of being dismissive or afraid that something my change in the self due to a new experience.
Really at the end of the day we are something inside a body… we watch it and through it we watch the world… how we feel inside about the whole experience and what that implies back at us regarding the inner nature and therefore external “role” we wish to be a part of… should be respected.
There are a great many out there that don’t know what an existential crisis is… they know social conflict on only the shallowest levels without connecting the dots on the larger scale which really point out how tragic even simple human natures, such as prejudice or elitism, can come amalgamate into a monstrosity that many of us can’t cope with.
I do believe that mental illness is one part faulty brain and another part faulty world. Except everyone else is also dealing with the faulty world and they do just fine. It creates a barrier against them being sensitive, when they struggled to rise above and pulled it off and we the MI just can’t seem to do it. We have differences within us (that aren’t just sexual/identity issues) that don’t seem to be properly acknowledged and accommodated. Even looking out into the world of information at large, it is very difficult to find reference for how to cope with a lot of things.
Which is why this website is great. All of it can be discussed on here, and as each of us grow wiser we have the potential to propagate that wisdom appropriately and help aid a necessary change in the cultural ethos. At least in a few more corners of a few more social circles… so those of us that seem to need a bit extra relate-ability and deeper human connection can find it and make it through.
None of this has much to do with transgender issues… but all of it has to do with the different, misunderstood, and downtrodden folks out there. Stigma of difference… Universal acceptance of human variance. One of the most complicated things the human species has on its plate to face, only because it’s something that almost every human being needs to consider.
Be friendly and inclusive… keep your guard up so you don’t get ripped off, but be forgiving otherwise in the face of social discourtesy. It’s the direct way to melt the ice. Just be a human and try to enjoy the simple good times. Find your support network in the background and trust that you can fall back on it when it’s most needed.
People are people. So, why should it be? That we all get along so awfully.
But I never remember feeling unhappy with being a girl as a child. As a teenager and young adult I had female friends, but didn’t feel at ease much between girls… they were different from me and I didn’t understand them, their social play… I tried to be one of the boys and had a period that I really wished to be a boy and have a girlfriend. My pregnancy and role as a mother and dealing with my trauma’s and developping some social skills changed this. I now feel really feminine, wear very feminine clothes like skirts and dresses, feel at ease between female friends and act in a feminine way mostly, although I don’t fit all stereotypes. I still like to have male friends as well, do boy stuff, and I would like to wear very masculine clothes sometimes… my friend and I have plans to go to crossdressing parties with him in a dress and me in a male suit. I think my gender identity is a bit more fluid than in others and I think it is fun to play with it a bit. But in my case, I was never really transgender, just unhappy and confused and socially a little clumsy. Dealing with my psychological issues and (sexual) abuse history and finding a feminine role that suit me completely got rid of my wish to be a male.