I need caffeine to function, I can drink tons and then go to sleep, its sort of frustrating. The other day I had a big mug which is two cups in the morning, a double shot of espresso a few hours later, then a monster energy drink. I then took a nap on the couch. Yesterday afternoon I drank a monster and took a nap on the couch again. This morning I woke up after like 4 or 5 hours of sleep and feel awake, also have a case of silly brain.
I really hate when I wake up early, it makes me feel funny in the head and apparently I act strange when I dont sleep enough, according to other people. Like a little psychotic. Just a little.
I have silly brain right now. I dont care about school, like seriously I just don’t care, I dont have my normal anxiety, which makes me feel dis-inhibited, and I just want to eat and sleep and be stupid. The ice bucket challenge seems like a fine idea in this state.
But then again I am so normal the vast majority of the time that I just accept silly brain days. I tell my professors about my diagnosis, usually bring a doctors note, and explain that some days I am not normal but most of the time I am stable. I had like three silly days last semester, one involved waking up wide awake at 3am and watching anime for like nine hours before going to class. Whoa I felt funny that day. One was a bad silly day, like a couldnt-focus silly day, and the other was narcolepsy day, I drank two cups of coffee and a redbull and still couldnt keep my eyes open and my head up for more than five minutes. My professors didnt care, they asked me if I was alright and I just said “I’m ok.” They noticed me because I made really good grades and figured I was used to coping with schizophrenia, which is accurate.
Like today- I have silly brain, didn’t sleep enough and am trying to make myself sleepy so I can take a nap and wake up normal. If I dont feel sedated after breakfast and meds, I will have to go lift weights, which always makes me sleep well. I really should just go lift weights today anyways, I skipped yesterday and that might be why I didnt sleep well.
Im talking too much.