I’m new here and have no idea where to start so please be kind and bear with me here. So I guess I’m Schizoaffective or at least that’s what they told me a couple of years ago. I think I am just now starting to come to terms with it. The only reason I think I’m starting to believe it is because I stopped taking my meds once and it didn’t end well.
So yeah I hear voices and sounds (sometimes even music). I see the walls dripping with blood and hear the screams of women and children being skinned alive. The voices touch me and tell me to wake up. I don’t feel safe anywhere and there is a german billionaire out to get me. He has his own private security force and they dont like me.
Should I trust the doctors? I feel like doctors can’t be trusted because a lot of them work for the military and they are out to discredit me and make me look like a fool. I mean every morning and night I take a fist full of pills but its too much. It’s just too much. So I have been thinking of stopping my meds again. Because really if you think about it all these psych meds are is just a form of mind control. They want to control my thoughts through the use of modern pharmaceuticals. So should I believe them or not. Am I schizoaffective and do I really need all this medicine. Should I trust them.
I think that your medication needs to be adjusted, changed or increased. You’re experiencing delusional thinking. It happens to the best of us, the main thing is you get stabilized so you can live your life without fear.
I can understand what you mean about big pharma and such. I also sometimes have doubts about the pills I have to take. But it is so much better then being unmedicated and sick. Once you find the right med for you you’ll feel like yourself again.
I would book an appointment with your Pdoc to discuss your medication and what’s worrying you. It’s best if you’re truthful about these things, I promise the doctor isn’t out to get you, they want to make you better.
Yes you should trust psychiatrists when it comes to treatment.
You should tell them these things, your doubts and your side effects so that they can find the right med and dosage.
Mind control doesn’t exist, meds can change your thoughts but only for making you more grounded in reason and reality, for example many people believed they were God or that the CIA or the aliens were after them and after some weeks on meds they realized that these were only delusions.
I mistrusted meds for years and have come to regret refusing them at different times. I do know this, the longer you stay off your meds, the longer they will take to be effective. At least that’s what happened to me after the last time i went without for about two years. Schizophrenia and schizo-affective disorders are medical illnesses. They are biological illnesses that have to do with the way our brains function. The only medical treatment currently available are anti-psychotic meds. There are other ways to deal with symptoms, various coping skills and therapies, but the first-line defense against psychosis is medication.
Right now it sounds like the fist full of pills is not helping all that much, you sound like you are really struggling with delusions still. I’m glad you’re not having those awful hallucinations at least.
Yes trust the pdoc and tell them what you just wrote here. They may challenge you a bit by their questions but meds can be your lifeline both figuratively and literally. Please see your pdoc asap.
Thank you for your response. After reading all of the replies It would seem that I may be in the wrong here. Although even if I am wrong about the doctors it still feels like I’m not. I mean if the doctors are good then why do they always stare you down and write stuff about you. And then they wont give me the records or notes that they are taking. And then write you a prescription for the most expensive pills they can find. I mean It would almost be cheaper to swallow diamonds than to pay for some of these medicines. I mean come on you have got to be shi**ing me here $1500 a bottle and $500 for another one (without insurance I mean).
All that being said, I’m going to take your advice here. I mean, I don’t know you but I already trust you more than the doctors. I have already booked an appointment for next month. I don’t know maybe it’s because I stopped taking my sleep medicine a few days ago ( I wanted natural sleep) and haven’t slept since. Eventually I will crash and get that natural sleep and it will be glorious. Also, what’s a Pdoc sorry I’m new here.
Trust your doctors.
Trust your meds, although you may need an adjustment.
Thank you for trusting me.
Also I can’t believe it could cost 1500$ for pills. Thank god I’m Canadian and get free healthcare. It seems almost criminal that someone charges that much for medication. Hopefully your country gets free healthcare sometime soon.
I wouldn’t say healthcare is free but funded by the tax payer.
I mean I don’t mean to bash medicine some because of my medicine works great. I still have hallucinations every two to three days but at least with the medicine I know they are hallucinations . I don’t want to sound like its bad though because some of my hallucinations are humorous or at the very least just odd. And my mood is definitely more stable than before the medicine.
I wish I was canadian. I’m in america so I doubt were getting that free healthcare anytime soon.
Trust that the doctors are doing the best they can. However they are human and when they make an error you pay for it dearly. So if a drug prescribed to you is really ■■■■■■■ you up there’s nothing wrong with quitting it as safely as you can.
I suppose so. All I know is since I have no money or job all of my medication is 100% covered and I would never have to pay it back or buy a health insurance plan.
I’m very lucky though.
I’m going to be honest here I’m not sure I will ever trust the doctors but I will take your advice and try and trust them.
Fortunate to have a universal healthcare system that covers all citizens, yes. I wouldn’t doubt that both of us are covered by the same MSP plan as I don’t have to pay for medication either. However, working a job is rather better than getting disability that’s for sure.
Thank you for your reply. Trusting the doctors seems to be the consensus here. I’m not sure I can do it but I will at least give it a try.
yes just remember that they studied a lot for treat people with psychiatric disorders, its the only thing they are good at, they are not ‘good’ people.
It’ll be hard to sleep well naturally with a psychotic disorder… you will either sleep 12 hours a day or suffer from severe insomnia…
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