Thought about comitting myself yesterday but it was the weekend!

that’s how it goes, bad day and you think “im getting much worse” but then i wake up today and am back to normal. if it would have been a weekday i would have called my caseworker to see if i should go to the hospital. im not suicidal or violent, im just getting crazier so i dont know if they would even admit me. im wondering if i need a new med, as my bad days are getting more frequent, from one or two a month to a bad day every weekend now. i am chalking it up to nicotine withdrawal but a lot of days i feel unmedicated again, the only thing reminding me that i am med compliant is my weight gain haha.

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and the weird thing is all my caseworker, and pdoc, and parents think im getting better as i just hold it all in in the real world, but yesterday i realized im getting worse lately. i don’t tell anybody when im having a bad time of it, i just try to do two things at once, socialize and freak out haha.

What med are you on ? Some meds are affected when you quit tobacco.

https://www.nps.org.au/australian-prescriber/articles/smoking-and-drug-interactions

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im on invega trinza, some days i feel completely unmedicated which i guess is a good thing, other than my bad days, when voices and paranoia return. and it always happens on the weekend and there is nowhere i can withdraw too because of the all the traffic going by the house until 10pm. it’s definitely not the middle of nowhere living here i decided, either that or the simulation is sticking it to me i can’t decide haha.

so last night, i made a list of days until dec 31st or new years, each day i will write either “good day” or “bad day” im thinking at around 8pm while my day is mostly finished, this will let me know how well my meds are working or if i should change meds. im hesitant to try clozapine, and am scared that is my only other option.

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Argh. I remember now. I asked you that before. Invega isn’t affected by tobacco. Never mind.

If it were me, and it only happens on weekends, then I’d ask my psychiatrist for a PRN to get me over the periodic rough spot.

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yeah i will mention it, i have a pdoc appt. sept 7th, because it’s so close is another reason why i decided not to go to the hospital, just thought i could wait it out for 10 days and see how i do.

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