I spent arguing with my ex who wont leave me alone and let me raise our kids who I have been doing a damn good job of raising by myself. I told him that hes ugly and I’m not attracted to him which is true I didnt get with him for his looks but then he told me that he dated more beautiful women than me with better jobs this made me feel bad. He keeps using our kids as pawns to say things to me he wants me to do things his way and we are divorced. He brings my mental health down. I dont know how to get away from him. I try my hardest not to hold any conversation with him but he tries his hardest to hold conversation with me. He tries his hardest to flaunt his life in front of me and to let me know a little on what hes got going on. This isnt healthy for me and I really dont know what to do. He always criticize my life and put me down this is the main reason I divorced him and he is still doing it and we are divorced how can i get him to stop and leave me alone
Why dont you just tell him you dont want to hear it and to leave you alone? I’d walk away if he’s standing in front of you.
I have hung up and he calls me back. He says I need to talk to him because we have to be good co parents. I feel like hes using the kids to always criticize me and to keep saying stuff to me. He just wont let me be he wont let me live my life and be happy the little bit that I can be happy.
Usually if I want to avoid chaos with someone I find a way.
Well I’m going to find a way. Tired of the bs
Do you have other family members who can maybe help you confront him and get the abuse to stop? He sounds kind of like a bully. My parents hated each other after their divorce and never talked again but us kids were already in our twenties so we could see them separately and they had enough class so they didn’t bad mouth each other in front of us. But there was a lot of anger on both sides. Have you told your psychiatrist about this? If this guy is verbally abusing you or doing rotten things that you can’t handle then there’s no shame in getting help from someone. Your ex-husband needs to be taught that he can’t treat you badly. He needs to learn that he can’t take advantage of you and mistreat you.
Yes I’ve been talking to my family and friends about it they have been my support along with venting here online. Today when he called I just gave the phone to the kids and then afterwards he tried to make small talk told him I had to go for a phone call. I think I’m going to keep doing this tell him I’m to busy to talk to him.
My sister has been married to a narcissist for twenty years. She had to cut off all contact with him. Luckily her only child is 22 and the child is not his. Talk to someone at a domestic violence shelter to see how to handle the kids (coparenting). He sounds like my sister’s ex husband
Yea I might make a visit there to get some help to deal with the things he does.
There is a saying - “Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.” The thing to do is emotionally detach from your ex as much as you can. You have to interact with him, but don’t let him engage your emotions. Look at him as a flawed human being who you have to tolerate. Look for legal ways to cut him out of your life. When he tries to push your buttons, just say, “Whatever”. Try to keep your kids away from him as much as you can. If he isn’t paying child support you might have a good case to do this. Get support for friends and family to do this.
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