I slept 9+ hours last night. However I could only manage to stay awake for 2 hours before becoming intensely drowsy again and needing to take a nap…I tried to just nap for 20 minutes and then get back to work but once again I became incredibly drowsy.
I am so angry about this. I just want to be awake. This is really making my grades and academics suffer. The other day I did everything I could to keep myself awake, studied in a different place, played music, had a snack, an energy drink, etc. I was STILL falling asleep!!
I am so done with having to wait for miraculous times where I have energy and can get things done because they never come. Struggling through the brain fog and sleepiness is impossible. I think I will call the sleep doctor on Monday and see if I can start medication sooner rather than later to try to keep me awake. I don’t have time to go through a whole other 1-2 month long process of getting another sleep study, then a follow up appt, etc. I am failing my classes NOW because I can’t stay awake or focus!!
One of the hardest parts of being mentally ill for me is learning how to delay gratification and wait for long periods of time to get to where other people take for granted. It’s taken me 8 months to start to pull out of my depression. My life is literally on hold while I wait for the meds to work. And then it still won’t be perfect.
I’m sorry. I hope your doctor is able to speed up the process. It seems crazy that they know the problem, but can’t give you the medication yet because you just barely failed the test.
I was going in and out of strange dreams, in and out of sleep paralysis where I was hallucinating vividly, I saw strange dark symbols suspended in mid air and another time I felt something like hands running all over me and I would try to stay calm but my heart was beating so fast it was like a heart attack. I was stuck in this bizarre limbo drifting between realities for the whole 3 hours and now that I am finally out of it I am just horribly confused. I feel like I’m being forcibly drawn back into some other place.
That was a bizarre experience. My brain feels like spaghetti right now.
It ended up reminding me of when I’d be stuck in those sleepiness spells for hours and start experiencing hallucinations of rape and sexual/psychological abuse. I couldn’t escape…Was it all hypnogogic? I don’t know. Not good memories to be having right now.