This is all

I figured weather there is or isn’t a god. This is pointless. If there is a god it doesn’t matter because there is something else and you’ll most likely go there. And if there isn’t. Did any of it really matter in the first place. Shits boring. Day after day I wake up. Talk to nobody. Nobody talks to me, except family and I sit around and watch movies. And I come to think. What’s the point. And I realize it’s one of 3. God is punishing me for my past which sounds a lot like god if you know the stories from the old testament. God give you test and sees what you do. Which really doesn’t matter either because that means the only bearing this place has is to see who you are. Or none of it matters and we are just hear for the ride. Either way, I find it depressing and tedious and I wish someone would shoot me in the head when I am walking down the street or something. I think god or the devil wants me to kill myself. I’m not giving them the satisfaction. I’ll stay here til I turn to dust.

These are tough philosophical questions that people without schizophrenia struggle with too.

The way I look at it is that we’re in the survival game as schizophrenics. Anything else is a welcome bonus. Everybody has their own take.

So is that all my life is. Just trying to get by without blowing my face off.

No, that’s just my take.

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