Schizophrenia.com

Thinning Grey Matter

I think I’m only now able to accept my diagnosis.

During my 2nd or 3rd psychosis, I started listening in on conversations (delusions) telling me that each psychosis was a test, like fear factor.

Fear factor is an orchestrated game with rules made by others but I’m playing a game, with no insight

Sometimes my psychosis are so confusing…so yeah I can get a little catatonic

My prize is awareness of my thoughts. (awareness allows me to detach)

If i lose: Im paralyzed in a binding fear with thinning grey matter.

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Welcome to the forum!

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Welcome to the forum. :elephant::elephant::elephant:

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I don’t think its proven that sz causes brain grey matter loss. Personally I think the problem is chemical, neurotransmitters and receptors.

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Do you think we have the ability to rewire those neurotransmitters? I’ve seen a few studies about the probability of being able to do so with meditation.

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I think new meds will be better.

Welcome to the forum!

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I think it’s possible but not sure

Welcome to the forum!

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I’m not on medication. I have a psychologist though…he laughs when I bring up meditation too.

My job requires a lot of attention.

I tried medication once. I couldn’t get out of bed though. So I couldn’t stay on it.

I’m able to identify that my psychosis usually peak after 3 days of no sleep, so by then I’ll go to the doc to get tranquilized.

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So what symptoms you have now? Negative symptoms? Yeah current meds can make those worse but I read the partial agonists new meds like Caplyta may actually improve them. Thats what Caplyta was advertised to address but I guess it wasn’t a big success. Maybe in the future they will have meds for negative symptoms. Idk if the cognitive symptoms are reversible though.

Did you try stimulants like Adderall and Ritalin? They can improve cognition and negative symptoms but may 20% worsen positive symptoms.

Look up neuroplasticity. It’s the study of how the brain can rewire itself

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I have negative symptoms but I’m also still dealing with delusions too but I’ve detached from them if that makes since…like the CIA fear and the smoke detector is listening to me, are still every day thoughts…I see them (as in the thoughts are still in my head)but they don’t squeeze debilitating fear out of me like they used to…I used to run from them. Or freeze up. I’ve only been catatonic once it was soo scary I was like a mummy, lol. I went to the hospital, they tranquilized me and it went away. I didn’t realize how 2-3 days of no sleep can Exasperate things.

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Since I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD as a kid I can’t get get on Ritalin or Adderal

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Some Drs do prescribe ADHD meds for sz negative symptoms, Strattera, Modafinil etc My Dr want to put me on Modafinil and Strattera. I tried Wellbutrin too, its technically an ADHD med since it boosts dopamine like ADHD meds.

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Modafinil is used off label for ADHD.

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Honestly I don’t know what I need.

I saw this thread were someone was saying they haven’t had a delusion in so long, they forgot what it was about. I can’t relate to that but I want to.

Are any of your delusions in other languages, languages you don’t speak?

I took French but I’m not fluent but I have thoughts in Spanish sometimes and I don’t speak that language at all. He freaks me out more than the CIA guy lol. If there’s a pill for that, I want it.

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Well its up to your Dr. I don’t have any positive symptoms now on meds but when I was off meds voices and hallucinations were in all languages, even languages I don’t speak well.

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Does you medicine lessen the delusion or does the thought just never appear?

I used to be on abilify. my brain wouldn’t allow me to cry…I might try that again.

Are you able to watch TV and the news?

I feel like I can’t be involved with “the world”…like we’re in boiling water but everyone else around me is acclimated and I’m the only frog that is trying to jump out the pot….I also feel like sometimes my ego paints that picture so I won’t feel inferior. “I’m not strange, the world is strange lol.”

Maybe abilify can cool the waters. I tried to tell my doc I want to be on it but he was more scared of me gaining weight than I was…but I think it’s time now.

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