in case you didn’t know I broke my distal fibula. I had to set up an appointment with an orthopedic doc tomorrow but I don’t have my phone my in laws took it away again. until the apartment is cleaned to their standards which means i’m never getting my phone back. i’m thinking of canceling the appointment tomorrow since I wont have a phone to call the van people for a ride
You’re not 14. Why the hell are they taking your phone? I think it’s time to stand up for yourself. Your health is in question now. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate life?
They don’t have the right to take away your phone. They’re ridiculous standards should not be getting in the way of your appointment which is much more important. I say don’t cancel the appointment because it is essential for evaluation of your fibula. Can your partner help you with getting there? I wish you well.
You’re in-laws are pissing me off. Who do they think they are anyway? Taking an adults cell phone away is ridiculous. I don’t blame you because I know you are stuck there for now and you can’t do anything about it. But It makes me worried about what they might do in a life or death situation. Would they let you die because you didn’t wash the dishes after dinner? From what you tell us, it really does make me wonder what they would do in an emergency if your life was at stake and they didn’t want to drive you to the hospital because they were tired or something. Maybe I’m over-reacting. Maybe I’m not.
@cbbrown I’m getting really worried about your situation. They take your phone away? They sound like bullies! You need to find a solution for yourself, that can’t keep happening. Take your phone back, or use your parnters phone, you need to get to that appointment.
Have you thought of a solution besides living with them?
i’m sorry I upset everyone, but I did cancel the appointment. I tried to get my partner to go with me, but she didn’t think her mom would take us to the appointment at the hospital. They keep saying that i’m milking it that my ankle is only fractured or cracked but I told them what the doctor told me there is no difference between a break and a fracture. His words, “well you broke your distal fibula” . they were like none of your weight is put on the fibula you should be able to walk fine.
I don’t remember pressuring her this much when she hurt her hip, no you know who did. Her husband pressured her to clean the house when she had a hairline break in her hip.
Your partner’s mother is a total malicious bitch. There are other words that can be substituted as well. And quite honestly, I think it’s time you shore up what you can and find a new situation. Whatever that may be…a home for just you two, a “come to Jesus” meeting with your in-laws or whatever, or even a new relationship. If my wife was living with me and my father and he dumped on her, she’d up and leave me for not standing up for her. Straight up. I think that’s something you should consider.
my partner wants to move out just as bad as I do but she doesn’t know where to begin. her parents control our money but it appears in a way they don’t. I pay 705 a month and kay pays over 300 dollars a month in cable bills. plus we are paying for their tv and our computer. They keep saying they are going to pay us back for that but they haven’t yet.
Let’s break it down: If you quit paying for all that crap, and the both of you pooled your money, you’d likely be able to afford your own place. Are you on SSI/SSDI? Are they the rep payees? If so, and they are mismanaging your money, a quick call to Social Security will land you a new rep payee in 2 seconds flat. All you have to say is your money is being used for purposes other than your care or interest. This is total horseshit, and I think it’s time something gave way.
when you’re right you’re right @alien99 .
@cbbrown seriously, you need to put a stop to that situation you’re in. What does your partner say about this? They can’t control your life like that, they shouldn’t even be in your life. They’re triggering, bad people and just plain abusive.
Can you come up with a solution for this problem? What can we do to help you?
the night before they took my phone away they yelled at me. telling me everyone is pulling their share except me. The apartment was a mess true but its like they completely ignore the fact their daughter helps makes the messes too. But according to then kay is over at their house all the time doing chores for her step mom. so it kind of makes me wonder who really isn’t pulling their own weight. Anyway my partner says no matter what they do she will stick by me. her step mom tried to do the same thing my family did, convince their daughter to dump the other partner and let them introduce them to someone supposedly better.
kay wants to get married in june her parents think that’s a big mistake. They keep coming up with reasons on why we shouldn’t. I think they know once we are married there is no turning back.
You and Kay should sit down together with a pad of paper and a pen and figure out your money situation. Write down exactly how much money is coming in for you two and then go on your computer and look at housing. Go to places like Craigslist or the classified section of the newspaper and other places.
I think your living situation now is so dangerous toxic and unhealthy that you might have to take drastic steps to get out. What I mean by drastic is that you might even consider looking for housing in a different state where rent is cheap and the cost of living is low.
Housing costs vary from state to state and city to city and you might want to set aside an hour or two every day or once a week (it’s up to you as to how much time you want to set aside) to check out rent in various parts of your state or other states.
If you find a location you can afford then the next step might be researching that city online and see what it’s like. You would of course want to see if there’s any mental health resources nearby and how much they cost if Medicare doesn’t cover it. Check out clinics, hospitals, therapists, psychiatrists, vocational programs, day programs, support groups (NAMI has branches all over the country and they have support groups and you can call their office for more help and information).
Check out what the city has to offer such as bus lines, pharmacies, grocery stores, Social Security offices, parks, restaraunts, hairdressers, Vetenarians, . shopping malls, banks, laundromats, etc. All this is theoretical because I don’t even know if you want to take as drastic a measure as living somewhere else in the country or if you even want to change locations in your own state. But it’s something to think about.
But you can do your homework and on the pad of paper you can write down all the expenses of living on your own. Cable, phone service, utilities, internet, food, rent, incidentals, miscelanious, entertainment ( occasional or even regular entertainment is very important for people with schizophrenia). You just want to see what you can afford, and if it is feasible to live on your own.
I am currently living independently in a boarding house in California. My rent is $755.00 a month. I share a room with some 27 year old kid. In our complex we have about 20-25 people living in two buildings. My roommates girlfriend just moved into the complex. So maybe you could look into finding a situation like I’m in. These places are out there , you just have to look for them even though an apartment for you guys would be better.
But yeah, first figure out about how money you would need to move into a place and then research places in different areas. I can give you suggestions about your situation but it’s you and your partner who are going to have to `do all the footwork of following through and going online and search for places to live. Good luck.
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