Does the colour of my steel toe work boots clash with my safety helmet?
I’ve inherited my mother’s hips.
Stop making me laugh! I’m going to pee!!
Not tonight honey, I have a headache.
Cancel that pizza order!! And bring me a fresh garden salad!
I’ll try to think of a few more. Feel free to add your own! 
This was so funny that I about rolled in the aisles.
Don’t touch me!!! I have PMS. 
Too M- F- funny!!
Okay…who left the toilet seat up again! I almost fell through!!
Ooooh! This champagne is tickling my nose!
Where are my panties?
My bra is too tight.
I’m having terrible menstrual cramps.
I want to get acrylic nails.
I want to get a makeover.
My butt is too big.
My hips look like saddlebags.
Just look at all my cellulite!
Isn’t it funny how your wife constantly reassures you that she doesn’t mind your receding hairline one bit. Until you get into a heated argument about something, then she yells out…
“Shut up, baldy!!”
your skin is looking great! actually a guy once told me this 
a rare occurrence
The portions are really big
Junk food is making me sick
did you color your hair?
your eyebrows are on-point today!
love this nail polish color on you!
This is so true. She says this not because your baldness bothers her, but because she knows your baldness bothers YOU.
I want a mocha latte extra cream, extra sugar, with raspberries and a straw
kinda funny, excuse me though. Men just don’t focus on that in general…but its funny. in general females think they are being challenged. but The “boy who wanted” is always there.
Its an ongoing process, I think ive sorta explained in before. I don’t think I have to say too much. sorta like a game…wether its old skool or not. it depends on the game, and that’s what it has become in general. not even men in general know what they’re doing. just like you question me…looking for answers, yet its pretty damn simple
Sorry I was being curious, I deleted my comment
u don’t have to delete yourself. spread your msg…there is no Reason that I cant Give u a reason. apparently that’s how society works. You have the Idea, now create it a message in general.
Guilty of 3 and 4. And 5 once in a while.
Per number 4: I’m prone to migraines so there is no banging when my head is banging.
Also… I have little interest in talking cars with other guys and no interest in sports whatsoever. At office functions I usually wind up talking recipes with the ladies. I was this way back in high school. So much so that about a decade back when old high school friends were finding me on Facebook, all I seemed to hear was:
“You’re married? To a WOMAN?!? I could have sworn you were GAY!”
Yeah, thanks for that.
“I like the hot pink hammer, I’ll take two.”
“I like the USA flag … what other colors does it come in?”