(Cw: mention of death and illness)
Overall, my physical health is declining and my mom burst into tears when I was dealing with painful spasms.
She also told me that she is sometimes rough on the words but nonetheless she still loves me. (She said she would fix this.) Most of all…she is terrified that I would die early, leaving her alone.
To her, I’m her only and closest friend.
I sometimes worry that I will leave her behind if I ever die early of this stupid neurological disease. She has said in multiple occasions that she wills not to live without me.
I just worry so much that she would give up if I left early.
The bloodwork I’ve done today came back somewhat worse, and I’ve been prescribed more thyroxine as a result. But long covid is taking a toll on me and my body seems to be rapidly changing.
Unfortunately things are not great, and I’ve started a new semester so I’m worried about school.
Most of all…I just want to live and not die, basically.