I’ve talked with my family and discussed the possibility of hospitalisation. I have weird thoughts, complete avolition, anxiety, persecution mania and my logic is more and more fragile. I’m afraid for my baby, for not being able to cope with him at some point.
I have no idea how this came about. I have taken my pills religiously, I have taken every precaution to not have weird thoughts, I have kept my attention as high as possible every day. My beautiful little world is falling apart, and I have no idea what to do I feel like smoking, drinking, taking benzodiazepines, doing anything that would change this state of mind I have. I feel like self-mdeicating , that is.
I went to see my pdoc and she did not receive me, she postponed the discussion until Tuesday.
This forum is all I have to ease the pain while I’m waiting for my husband to come and take care of the baby instead of me. I’m nothing like the woman I used to be. DId I say that before?